19 March 2017

Long Live Chuck Berry



Woke up. None too early. Sake, huge mistake like always. Japanese beer. If there was an antidote for drinking too much an ambulance would have been called and I would have needed more than one dose.

Made coffee. Made a lot of noise in the kitchen causing Sonja to ask, "What the fuck are you doing?" from between the covers.

I was putting on steel cut oats and starting the bread machine making some Del Mar Sunshine bread.

Before I had done any of that I put Chuck Berry's "The Great Twenty-Eight" on the record player because I heard he had died about the same time the second pot of sake got put in the middle of our tatami table.

Chuck Berry was there for me when I started rocking. Over 40 years ago and I am not stopping counting any time soon, motherfuckers.

Berry was one of the Kings. There are still a couple left. Then that'll be it.

Thanks for the music. Thanks for the good times. Thanks for you and your guitar making America what it used to be: Free.

Long live the Spirit of St. Louis. Long live Chuck Berry. Long live rock 'n' roll.


17 March 2017

St. Patrick's Day Poem For A Brand New Age



Was
A
Time
Americans

Would
Not
Elect
A

Fucking

German
Their
Motherfucking
President.

14 March 2017

Fish 'n' Chips



Like most Canadians Sonja and I like our fish 'n' chips. When we moved to  Steepleton our first meal out was for fish 'n' chips. We would still be eating their grease and drinking their beer if the joint had not gone up in fucking flames. We are loyal that way.

We found a new place soon enough. Ate their fish 'n' chips for maybe twenty years. Went there last Friday but the place was so packed and their take out line so long I decided, "Fuck it," and went somewhere else.

Other place was just about as busy. Had to drink three beer while I waited for my take out. I noticed people in this place, which is cheaper than the place we had been spending our money in for years, were of an income group a notch below the income group I usually hang out with. A mix of the retired and people who looked like they could use a union in their workplace.

"This shit is better than the other shit we have been eating," Sonja said between mouthfuls.

"Cheaper too," I added as I finished off another beer.

"Fuck the other place then," Sonja concluded.

"Fuck them up the bum," I agreed.

Thus ended our long customer relationship with Cunt Lover's Fish 'N' Chips.

13 March 2017

Niki Ashton - The Next Leader of Canada's NDP



For me it is still Niki Ashton. She's the one and she is so on every level.


7 March 2017

Shittergate



Had a crew meeting with the fucking boss in the lunch room today. I took notes so you would not miss anything.

Firstly, as in all such meetings, there was a lot of talk about doom.

Secondly, another management favourite topic, gloom.

Thirdly, there was some talk about making the fucking sawmill great again.

All us workers thought the meeting was over once that went over our head but there was one more thing on the boss' mind.

"We have been having trouble with the toilets getting all bunged up this winter. Been happening so much someone must be bunging them up on purpose. We hope we are going to get to the bottom of it before the fucking plumber's fees forces us to close down this mill like the one in Merritt."

We were barely out the lunchroom door before somebody dubbed our overflowing toilet situation Shittergate.

4 March 2017

Death To the Trumpoids



Since no one else has done so - that I am aware of - I would like to suggest we begin calling Donald Trump supporters Trumpoids. Then we could sing a Brian Goble song about them and have a good scuff at their expense.

Death must come to the Trumpoids at last
Peace will become a thing of the past
The Trumpoids have the armies and the guns in their grasp
They're going to destroy us with their threats and their lies
We must kill them
They bug me

They're trying to frame the Red Brigades
Tell us all we're threatened by the terrorist plague
They're hanging a noose around our necks
By gluing our minds to the front page
Kill them
You got no choice

Death to the Trumpoids, or death to you
They got the money, they think they got the power
To step on your face, make you lick their boots

Rise against them

They're trying to frame the Red Brigades
By telling us we're threatened by the terrorist plague
They're hanging a noose around our necks
By gluing our minds to the front page
Kill them 
Rise against them

Not much has changed, it would seem, in the past four decades. The President has a new bogeyman and the front page has been replaced by Facebook. The Fascist Parade remains the same.





















1 March 2017

TRUMP Tower Review



On the weekend I drove by the Dope City building with the big ass TRUMP sign out front. Made me think about the people who have looked at national socialism and compiled a list of its shortcomings: the reasons why national socialism's final solution was not as successful as it was in Newfoundland. (Newfoundland's last living Beothuk died in 1829.) One of national socialism's apparent shortcomings was a lack of real estate investment.

Building is nice enough. Appealing to the eye as crack cocaine and sporting as much soul as a fentanyl exporter.

27 February 2017

I Spoke Too Soon



I spoke too soon:

Two
Turks
Did
Not

Read
The
Stay
The

Fuck
Out
Of
Surrey memo.

24 February 2017

Where Are the Dope City Refugees From Fascist America?



Notable, to this curious fellow, is the lack of refugees walking across the border from Washington State into British Columbia to escape Fascist America. Since refugees are doing so along the length of most of the rest of our as yet unwalled border it begs the question, "Why?"

My feeling is the refugees are afraid they might get re-settled in the war zones of Surrey or Abbotsford. Why flee a frying pan when you know your next stop is a fire?

Tells me something about the area surrounding Dope City that needs addressing: if refugees prefer fucking Manitoba to Dope City just how fucking bad are things around here?

23 February 2017

Post Irony



On the increasing number of people sneaking over the border into Canada from America: is it too soon to suggest we build a fucking wall and have America pay for it?