2 October 2014

Double Checkin' Dishrags

Some time ago I bought the Dishrags' complete recordings. Double album's worth of two-tittied motherfucking punk rock history. I was supposed to write something about it long ago. Got sidetracked I guess. Not the first fucking time.

The studio tracks are every bit as good as the 45s on which they first deafened disco fever urban cowboy Earth. The live tracks, I am talking about the ones recorded when the 'Rags opened the Clash's first North American show in Dope City, are another story.

In those days magnetic north for my dick was the Dishrags. They had all the attributes a punk rock boy (or girl) could hope for. Tough as a loggers; sweet as sugar cookies; creative as Stompin' Tom Connors on Sudbury Saturday night.

I recalled their show as being about as good as punk rock got. Fast and loose as a two-bit whore loaded on speed and alcohol. As I may well have been that enchanted evening.

The recording does not quite live up to that. Their cover of Eddie and the Hot Rods' "Double Checkin' Woman" cannot even save them. But I still think you should go out and fucking buy it.

For the music.

And the photos.

Now, wet dream motherfuckers.

26 September 2014

Long Live Rock, Long Live DOA

From day fucking one I have preferred listening to Metal Machine Music at maximum volume to watching music videos on my television. I can see why the imaginationless would go for music videos. The imaginationless go for all sorts of rot.

Have a listen to Hawkwind's "Psychedelic Warlords" with your eyes closed if you have lost touch with the power of your imagination. You know what to do should you wish to push your imagination into four wheel drive.

If it were not for the rare film in which a really good bit of song gives the action a little extra spark I would have the same feeling about music in film as well. For every "Easy Rider" there are a thousand films with music I would have preferred not to hear - ever!

What I do like (and have always liked) are filmed rock shows. That is how I first heard Status Quo, Rush, Mahogany Rush and a great many more when in my stiff dick youth. Still like a good rock show turning up on my television screen.

Watched The Who's 2013 performance in London last night courtesy of my cable provider. My cable provider offers very few good rock shows but this is one of them. Odd thing about the show is the back drop behind Roger, Pete and their damn near faceless band is a giant video screen which takes the watcher through British history, both musical and otherwise, with a focus on the mod sods themselves, of course.

Highly recommend it. Glad Pete and Roger have chosen to rock on. Take a bow, motherfuckers.

Oddly I received news after watching the concert that DOA are officially unretired, making a new record, a rock opera tentatively titled "Gino" according to my suspect sources, and preparing to tour once more. Hope Joe sees The Who show. A similar video historical/biographical backdrop behind Dope City's most durable rockers (besides Sparkling Apple) would be pretty fucking cool.

22 September 2014

8-track Collection

Spent the weekend,
It was hotter than most,
Getting loaded and
Listening to 8-tracks.

Stompin' Tom,
The Beatles,
Jerry Garcia,

10 cc,
George Carlin,
Creedence Clearwater Revival
And West, Bruce and Laing.

There ain't no more than that.

17 September 2014

Silver Wood Machine

I do not collect 78s or any of the even older means music and words have been distributed through the years.

33s, 45s, cassettes and 8-tracks.

Trouble was I had no 8-track player. Never owned one in my life.

Until now.

Bought a working 8-track amplifier/tuner yesterday. Couple book shelf speakers to go with the archaic technology.

Called Hunky Z over to have a beer and a listen. Jammed Stompin' Tom Connor's Greatest Hits into the glowing silver and fake wood veneered machine.

"No fucking way!" Hunky exclaimed as the smiling ghost of Stompin' Tom and his big black boot splintering Canadian plywood boomed from the speakers.

We laughed so hard it hurt.

My head may be right here in the present but my heart is still somewhere way back in the motherfucking 1970s.

9 September 2014

Today a Bunny, Tomorrow the World

Sonja and I were eating dinner. The Hammer was watching us eat, like she usually does, when she was called to the window by a noise we heard as well. Squeaky ball rubber duck sort of a noise. The dog did not seem to see anything so she lay back down to look at us.

The noise, however, continued in fits and stops.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

Sonja got up to look. "I don't see fuck all," she said and sat back down.

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

I got up. Saw the three of the neighbourhood cats tormenting a baby bunny. It was the bunny squeak, squeak, squeaking.

"The fucking cats are killing a bunny," I yelled.

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!" Sonja screamed. "Not a bunny!"

I grabbed a box and went out and rescued the little fucker. Gave the cats the stink eye. Bunny's flank was tore up some but his neck was intact so I figured he might make it.

While I was on my rabbit rescue mission Sonja was talking on the phone with the hippies down at the wildlife rescue centre. They told Sonja where I should take the bunny (a vet) and asked if we could leave a donation in the rescue centre's money box there.

As I pulled up the road in my bunny ambulance the cats were giving me the stink eye. "Fucking buzzkill you are," they would have said if they were not stupid fucking cats.

I could hear the bunny moving around in his box as I sped to the vet. Motherfucker was going to make it.

Today a bunny, tomorrow the world.  


3 September 2014

Humble Pie's Heavy Metal Soul

I have previously in this space extolled the virtues of Humble Pie. Rock 'n' roll superstars they were. Long fucking time ago. Back when I thought the only thing you needed to change the world for the better was a match.

Their "Rockin' the Fillmore" double live album has found itself spinning on every record player I have ever owned. Something of a high water mark for English music it is. Heavy metal soul.

Never figured the record to be expanded upon. But the two surviving members of the band who performed on the nights the record was recorded, Peter Frampton and Jerry Shirley, have gone ahead and released the four shows which, once culled, became the record I love.

Four "Rockin' the Fillmore" records. I got my copy on cd. Paid about ten times what I paid for the original record. Worth every penny.

Get out there, buy it, and rock on, motherfuckers.

31 August 2014

Roadrunner Once...

Hunky and Kitty were over last night. Harvest meal. Fresh salmon from the sea. Green salad fresh as an East End single mom roller derby recruit. Scalloped redskin potatoes dug from black Fraser Valley earth. Jubilee corn still glowing with the seemingly endless summer sun. Bumbleberry pie warm from the oven.

Ate like the motherfucking Royal Family we did.

Afterward, having gained the courage many glasses of DOA ale provides, Kitty chided me about how I still have a cassette deck as part of my home entertainment system. "For someone who loves the modern world as much as Jonathan Richman does you sure are an old fashioned motherfucker."

"There's another three in the house besides that one. One in my office, one in the man cave, one in the fucking garage. Jonathan Richman, who knows a thing or two about the modern world, does not own a cell phone. The homeless and Jonathan Richman are the only free people left on the planet."

30 August 2014

A Good Cleansing Holiday At Two Cold Lakes

Like many British Columbians I spend as much time as I can exploring the parts of the province the fucking loggers and motherfucking miners have not fucked up beyond recognition. Fuck the States, fuck the rest of Canada (especially Alberta), I like tramping around the only province left that has not completely left its hard won sing song Anarchist past behind.

For me, most of that exploring happens when the snow is gone. And what a fab summer this has been for exploring. George Harrison wrote that hippie song of his about the sun for summers like the one we have been having. Dope City is ok but if you have the smash to get the fuck out of it as often as you can and you do not, you, my friend, are an asshole.

Every summer it seems I find a new place that I hold dear all winter long as I sit sipping scotch behind the double pane windows that protect me from the country my ancestors thought dreams were made in. All I have to do is think of those places for a moment to find the strength to make it through the black days and do it all over again.

This summer Sonja, the Hammer and I returned to the unspoiled country around Two Cold Lakes as guests of our old friends Kyle and Stacy. Having been handed over his dad's undeveloped lakeside property Kyle and Stacy built a cottage there with the assistance of their family's generous labour.

"Holy fuck," I said as we approached the cottage along its steep stone drive, dogs bouncing off the walls of Kyle's pick-up's canopy like a hairy pong game. Was a day people in BC built small unassuming structures at their lakeside getaways. Not any more.

"We get that a lot," Kyle said. "It started out as Paul St. Pierre's cabin in the woods and ended up as the Taj Ma-fucking-hal."

As we were toured through the cabin's many rooms, and the Hammer and Kyle and Stacy's dog Rocket Man made sure it was spook free, we found it to be even more splendid than the cabin's shell.

"I'm guessing the legalization of grass in a couple states has not slowed business down any," Sonja thought out loud.

"Not yet," said Stacy.

"And if Obama won't even legalize pot (because he's too busy killing fucking crazies with his murdrones) it will be a long fucking time before the States goes all in on legalization,"  Sonja added.

"Speaking of drugs," Kyle continued as he pulled a small ziploc from a pocket, "we did not stop back there at the Indian's place to stock up on sweetgrass."

He spilled the contents of the bag onto a tray. Peyote buttons. Enough to get a football team loaded for a week.

"Tonight we'll clean them up," he said pulling four magnifying glasses from a drawer. "Tomorrow it is off to Neverneverland."

The next morning, after our blueberry pancakes and much coffee, we washed down our doses of Mexican magic and loaded all the gear necessary for a day's worth of dangerous as a bus tour for well heeled Chinese rubbernecking sightseers boating down to the dock and into the boat before the shit kicked in and we ended up sitting on the porch drinking beer all day.

Peyote, for those of you who have never taken its magic carpet ride, is the greatest high of them all if you are not drawn to the needle. It brings to life all about you. I especially like the way trees, the hundreds of thousands of trees that surround you in the Canadian wilderness, dance their communicative dance from their hillside dance floors. "Thanks for not cutting me down you wasted dumb ass logging motherfucker," they seem to say.

The fish too seemed happy to see us. "Thanks for leaving your fishing poles at home you crazy beer guzzling Canuck motherfuckers," they seemed to say when they jumped free as birds of their responsibilities below the surface of their home.

(For comparison's sake I wonder how happy the fish of now poisoned Quesnel Lake are. If any of the good people of Likely, Horsefly or the Beaver Valley have any peyote on hand (they surely do) I suggest they fuck scientific enquiry for a moment, get loaded on peyote and go see how happy the fish of the big lake are now Capitalist Greed has dumped the biggest of all possible shits on them.)

Such was our daily routine for well over a week. We came home refreshed, cleaned out. (Fuck all the other cleanses marketed to the wishful thinking. You want to clean yourself out properly? Get yourself some peyote. I am so clean Stephen Harper can see his reflection in my asshole.)

22 August 2014

Black and White

Just back from some well deserved time away from the fucking mill. More on that later. Firstly, however, I have this.

What is the difference between a Muslim loon beheading a white man and a fucking pig shooting an unarmed black man to death?

Absolutely nothing, as War once sang.

Sing it again.

Absolutely nothing.

4 August 2014

I Like Living In Steepleton Well Enough

I have gotten away some this summer but not near enough. I like living in Steepleton well enough but, like most places, you cannot get out of it fast enough when the time comes.

That is how our planet came to be choked with human beings I guess. That and we like to fuck a great deal. If we were not chasing down food and fighting or running from enemies we were getting bored of our surroundings, thinking of striking out somewhere new, like the motherfuckers from Star Trek.

There is nowhere new to go now. We have known this since the going to the moon days. Trouble is once we got to the moon it turned out to be just slightly less lively than a Steepleton Saturday night.

Now Mars has become the Western Lands awaiting our arrival, awaiting its first hamburger stand, its first pusher, prison and professional sports team.

Steepleton had its summer fair this weekend. I have been before. It is alright. Did not go this year but I saw some of the people it attracts around town. Rodeo types. Like the people I grew up with in Sliverville. They would like it on Mars and I would pay them to go there.