25 April 2015

Be Yourself



Watch the Bruce Jenner interview on television Friday night? What was once known as a freak show if I am not mistaken.

Now it is "Go Bruce!" Love yourself. Express yourself. Be yourself. Fuck yourself.

Things change slowly. This is for the best. When things change slowly they have a tendency to stay changed.

Not unlike what has happened with marijuana. If the laws had changed as quickly as a lot of people wanted them to decades ago we may have gone back to Prohibition by now. Better, perhaps, we have moved slowly, as slowly as the Canucks have made their way towards Stanley Cup glory, so that we might enjoy the Freedom to get high, high, high forever.


23 April 2015

Sliverville - The Murder City I Left Behind



I grew up in Sliverville. It was rough town but the Satan's Angels had the upper hand. If you did not fuck with them there was a good fucking chance you would not die young at anyone's hand but your own or at the controls of a motor vehicle. The bars, the streets and the bike shops - the places young people are found - were controlled by the 191.

Quite a while back now the Asshole Authourities started fucking with the Angels, by now the Hells Angels. The Angels, ever adaptable, figured the Asshole Authourities could have the fucking streets, which they knew would quickly turn chaotic without their calming presence about. Fuck the police, let them have the streets if they want them so fucking bad.

Now the streets of Sliverville are safe for no one. It is quite predictable, I believe, that the police will soon be getting murdered themselves. Shit is fucked up something serious. Fucked up seriously enough the police must surely be considering turning control of the streets back to a force capable of keeping a lid on what has become a Terror.

Hells Angels Forever indeed.

22 April 2015

Cat Shit

Woke up late after our evening at the drive-in. Even the Hammer slept in.

We could have had coffee to start our day like usual but it was already late enough to be beer drinking time.

So we drank.

Sonja on the red.

Beer on the beer.

When I drink it is like going to Heaven every fucking time.

Me and the Lord in the big beer store in the sky.



Then Sonja saw something moving in the bushes out back where civilization ends and the wilderness of Canada (you've seen it on "The Nature of Things") begins.

"There's something moving in the bushes!" she said alarmed.

I put down my beer and looked over to where Sonja was pointing.

There was something there. But what?

After a bit it rolled out of the bushes to where I could see it some. It was a squirrel and it did not look at all well. Then I saw the cat that had fucked up his day.

Slowly the squirrel made his way out of the bushes on to the fucking lawn. In the throes of death he was.

Sonja vomited and I felt like I might too.

Instead I got a shovel and whacked the squirrel into squirrel heaven. The cat was not impressed. I had  killed his entertainment. The cat's expression said it all.

Motherfucking buzzkill.

I did not give the shovel to the cat. I thought about it. Here kitty, kitty. Want to play shovel with me?

Fucking cats.


19 April 2015

At the Drive-in



Drive-in last night. The Dashlight in nearby Cowtippinville. Earliest in the year Sonja, the Hammer and I have paid admission to a drive-in in our lives. People reckon global warming has had a positive effect 'round here. Wait until half the province burns to the ground later this summer.

Were not many people there despite the summery weather. The people will come later. The drive-in is still very much a well chosen part of a lot of people's lives in the summer months. If you have not been or have not been in a while you might want to think about what a night out under the stars and the marquee moon watching movies would do for you.

People like seeing the Hammer at the drive in as much as they do anywhere.

"She's so big!"

"She's so soft!"

"She won't bite, will she?"

It is like I have Tom Mulcair for a pet.

As we waited for the movies to start and the mushrooms to kick in we listened to Randy Bachman's radio show. Best song he played was something by Rare Earth. Do not have records by them. Have to fix that.

"Divergent" was first. It was shit. Action movies all get two shits up these days.

Sonja and I cuddled in the back seat. The Hammer watched the movie from up front in the driver's seat, keeping one eye on the hooky wooky going on in the back.

"Get Hard" was next. Funnier than Stephen Harper falling off a stage it is.

We left before "American Sniper" came on. We are not Devil Worshippers after all.






Still Shocking After All These Years

                

 I'm a shock trooper
   In a stupor
Yes I am

I'm a Nazi Schatze
Y' know
I fight for the Fatherland




I still make mix tapes. Painstakingly slow, I know, but the results are worth it. Taking the time to listen to what you are doing makes all the difference.

Hitched a dandy Pioneer dual deck to the second stereo where I do my taping now. Got the Luxman in the living room where its superior playback capability is used best. I have far too many cassettes to not use them when I am taping. Records, CDs, cassettes and the AGS 8-track. One day I will add the old VCR to the system so I can add that audio source to my music library.

Got the latest tape playing right now. Old Stones and everything from The Fendermen to Humble Pie on it; Dutch Mason and Thin Lizzy too.

Last song on the tape is from a Ramones' 1978 live television performance in fucking Germany. The shit it is. 20 songs squeezed on to two sides of vinyl. K-Tel styling. Comes with a DVD of the whole show. Watching fucking Germans sing along to "Today Your Love, Tomorrow the World" is worth the price of this artifact alone. Highly recommended if you are having difficulty going deaf, as I am.


15 April 2015

The Politics of Recalling MLAs



You may be aware at least a couple fucking Liberal MLAs are facing recall campaigns. Hard not to cheer on the people trying to force a career move on them but you will not hear me cheering their recall.

Elections are best left to election time. Takes a lot of steam to build up enough pressure for people, in their masses, to change a government. Recall campaigns allow some of that steam to blow off.

Not a good idea in my opinion.

14 April 2015

Out and About



Lot
Of times
When
The Hammer

And
I are
Out
And about

People
Say to
me,
"Your dog

Sure is pretty."

12 April 2015

Heads Up For the New Neighbour

I expected it. Expected it like the Canuck car flags that will be on half the cars in the sawmill parking lot come the first game of the playoffs.



A homeless man moved into the temporarily, very temporarily, vacant nearby woods.

The Hammer and I introduced ourselves same as we would somebody who moved into a house instead of a makeshift tent. The Hammer with a trusty stream of piss, signalling this was her fucking land he was squatting; me with an out reached flask of cask strength, signalling we might as well get fucked up.

Homeless people and me are the fucking same. I just about found myself in the same spot once. I do not have to think too hard to remember 1982. No job. No future. No money to pay the rent.

My new drinking buddy had an accent so I asked him, "Where you from?"

"The Ukraine. Near border with Russia."

His accent sounded Nova Scotian to me. If he wanted to pretend he was a Hunky that was fine with me.

"Anybody going to mind me living here?" he asked me.

"Sooner or later somebody will come down in the night and beat the fucking shit out of you," I told him. From the Ukraine my ass.

"Same here as everywhere I guess," he shrugged.

"No it's not," I warned him. "It's way fucking worse here in Steepleton."


9 April 2015

K-Tel



Now I have publicly declared my L-U-V for Showaddywaddy it will surprise few of you to learn some my favourite records this past winter and spring have been K-Tel compilations and their like.

20 Greatest Hits! 20 Greatest Stars! Stereo! (can also be played on mono) As advertised on T.V!

How's this for a California Sun K-Tel comp? First Class, Jan & Dean, Hondells, Turtles, Joe Jones, Mamas and the Papas, Gary (US) Bonds, Surfaris, Rip Chords, Johnny Rivers, Lovin' Spoonful, Gary Puckett & the Union Gap, Frankie Ford, Gary Lewis & the Playboys, Freddy Cannon, Chantays and Bobby Motherfuckin' Freeman all on one record!

How the fuck do you beat that?

Made and litho' d in Canada in 1976 when Trudeau was Prime Minister.

What a record. What a year. What an asshole.

8 April 2015

Showaddywaddy



When I got to England I was looking forward to the aggressive fun of punk rock. Only trouble was punk rock had not yet got going.

The England I found was listening to Queen, possibly the biggest, stinkiest load of shit ever recorded, and Showaddywaddy, a stageful of wank teds.

Showaddywaddy even had their own tv show. I remember watching it and drinking straight Southern Comfort Export with the family I was staying with.

"What do you think of them?" I was asked.

"Not exactly the fucking Beatles, are they?" was as polite an answer I could manage before adding, "and it is too bad the BBC will never give Rush a show on the telly."

As if.

What the fuck had happened to the English? 30 years without a war and they had gone softer than the Queen Mom's ass.

That is what I thought of Showaddywaddy until today when I came home with a couple albums of their's from the thrift store. Fucking brilliant Showaddywaddy are. Like a more inbred version of Sha-Na-Na.

Guess anything that's rock 'n' roll's fine with me now.