30 November 2015
Albertan Instant Karma
Arrived at our hotel without incident. New place to us. Weather hotter than the Canucks are cold. Had barely set our bags down when someone came around with beer or whatever else you were in the mood for.
The alcohol set both Sonja and I at ease. A holiday in Mexico should be just like camping in Canada and it usually is or we would go someplace that was.
"I like this fucking place already," was Sonja's first impression.
Our room was not the greatest. The first room you get here rarely is. We have already moved into the better one that will house us until mid-December. A fucking suite with a full kitchen.
"I'm really liking this place now," Sonja said once the bell boy had left. "Maybe you could cook me something?"
The fuck I will. Tequila, cooking utensils and hot stoves are a poor fit.
There were some young Albertans drinking by the pool and acting like they created the word asshole when we had our first drinks by the pool. Shithead in a cowboy hat and his too good looking for words girlfriend appeared to be the ringleaders. It was pretty clear everybody was weary of them. Especially their fellow Canadians. Canadians hate their countrymen making them look bad outside our own borders.
This morning the cowboy cunt and his girl were noticeably absent. After a bit we heard what happened to them. Cowboy split his head wide open on the pool deck after Sonja and I, too travel tired too make it past midnight our first night, had gone to our room.
"Right out of a Hitchcock movie it was," this English fucker told us. "Bloody Hell. I hear he was a Canadian like you."
"The fuck he was," I corrected him. "He's an Albertan. We kicked those redneck motherfuckers out of Canada years ago. And we are never letting them back in."