2 February 2014

Vacuuming With Lulu



On Saturday Sonja was out with her girlfriends. "I'm going shopping!"

"Anything I can do while you're out?" I asked helpfully.

"Can you make me pancakes for supper?" was her only request but I knew she hoped I would clean up the house some while she was out too. When you have been in a relationship as long as we have some shit does not have to be said and it sure as fuck better be listened to and acted upon. Pancakes with lots of Canadian maple syrup for supper on a cold winter night sounded good to me.

Mostly what I did was vacuuming. We are trying to figure out how to get a temporary foreign worker to do all the work in our house for us. Every farmer in Steepleton has a team of wetbacks to bully, exploit and laugh at - why shouldn't we have just one of the same?

Having a dog, we have to vacuum a lot. Firemen would not be able to find us in an emergency if we did not vacuum regularly. Would not be able to open the front door without a battering ram there would be so much fur in the house.

I like to listen to records while I vacuum. Paul Rodger's soulful "Royal Sessions" tribute to Memphis, some tasteful lover's rock for you motherfuckers who like that sort of thing; DOA's recent "Welcome To Chinatown" for those of you who wish Dave Schultz, Gino Odjick, Donald Brashear and Eddie Shack had formed a rock 'n' roll band instead of playing hockey; Lou Reed's "Lulu" because I cannot get enough of the greatest rock 'n' roll record ever made.

  

2 comments:

RossK said...

And the decibel level required to hear all those fine musical offerings above the hoover sucker fixer guy machine noise?

.

Beer Hockey said...

Somewhere near 135db. Loud enough to have my neighbours wondering if Lou Reed bypassed Heaven or Hell after he died and came straight to Steepleton.