4 February 2014

Advice For Justin Bieber

Watch the lives of celebrities? I try not to but sometimes I cannot help myself. Media's increasingly totally fucking sadistic love of the famous has made celebrities and their life stories inescapable.

I know they are made of the same flesh and blood as me. But I do not think everybody thinks they are. They think they are made of some kind of special shit. The special shit celebrities are made of.

Also seems like everybody thinks they just might have some of that special shit celebrities are made of inside them too. If you want to know just how wrong people are about that watch American Idol.

Could be I write the Dope City Free Press because I have some of that celebrity shit inside me. I fucking hope not. "Here comes Mr. Beer N. Hockey onto the red carpet. Looks like he is wearing the latest from Carhartt, a Millwall jersey and just look at those Pierre of Paris carpenter boots. Doesn't he look smashing!"

There were lots of celebrity motherfuckers at the Super Bowl. Did not watch the red carpet some of them entered the football stadium on. What the fuck is up with that? Just what is the cut-off line for having a red carpet outside an event? If it is not regional lawn bowling championships it soon will be.

All the celebrities are being asked what Canadian son and Super Bowl attendee Justin Bieber should do since it has become apparent he too is walking the tragic walk of Elvis. "He should get help," is what every celebrity says. Like they would!

Justin's thus far unspoken response has been, "Fuck you! I'm motherfucking Elvis. Watch me burn!"

Good on him. You gotta get it in before you get old.

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