20 October 2013

Let's Go Shopping!

Dope City's thoroughbred racetrack's live racing season is now complete. The end of every thoroughbred meet is a sad event for me, even if the horses have not been particularly kind to my racing account. It means winter is at hand. The Snow White Canadian Beast.

Also means Sonja is freer to get me doing other things unrelated to the finishing order of horses flying around a dirt oval. "Want to go shopping with me?" was the first thing she had to say to me on Saturday morning. Why the fuck not? It is not like there are not pubs nearby the shops.

Our first stop was the newly renovated Sliverville Mall, the very mall whose grand shadow Sonja and I grew up in. It is now just like all the other newer malls around Dope City: shinier than fresh waxed pussy; noisier than the Flamingo on Friday afternoon; crowded as the shooting gallery around the corner.

Cell phones have made it easier for a man to go shopping with his partner without losing track of one another. We split up soon as we got in the doors. Once I had a look around I was soon across the street with a pint in my sawmill hand and an English football game to entertain me on a big screen. Westham, the fucking cunts, and Man City, another wank bucket side. Pleased I was to see Westham take it on the chin, I am a Millwall supporter, we hate each other like a government hates its people.

It is not just the government of Syria that thinks like that, motherfuckers.

Sonja met me for a couple once she had raked the mall for bargains. "Remember when I used to drag you out of here every weekend?" Before Sonja started drinking almost as much as I do she used to stay home and watch television - until she got to thinking I had had enough - while I was out getting shitfaced at the cozy pub we were now sitting in, comfortably warmed by a big gas fire.

Sonja had bought a couple things but not the things she was on the lookout for so we got in the car and headed for Dope City. If you cannot find it in Dope City it does not fucking exist.

We drove beneath the Dope City Centre Mall in search of parking. It was like driving into one of those cunt shaped archaeological sites that were so popular hundreds of years ago. It was dark down there and we drove in circles for some time before we spotted someone walking slowly to their car with a big bag of shit from Guess dangling from their arm like a willnot. We followed them, waited for them to pull out, pulled in and made a note of exactly where we were because if we did not it would take a long fucking time to find the car when we wanted out of the maze.

This mall was, as I said earlier, bright and shiny as Sliverville Mall. I think shopping malls are supposed to give shoppers the feeling they have fucking died and gone to Heaven. I stuck with Sonja this time, waiting on one of the mall's many bright, shiny couches while Sonja raked through the stores one by one.

As I sat there I could not help but notice the mall's clientele were mostly young Chinese women. If you are wondering who has all the money you wish you had at the end of the month it is all in their purses.

My boredom, to my surprise, was relieved for a while when I recognized two women from my old neighbourhood shopping together. Annalisa and her friend my friends and I all once knew as Dog Style Diane. I said "Hi" and we talked for quite some time before Annalisa asked, "What the fuck are you doing down here. Shouldn't you be home shearing sheep or something?" She had me confused with my sheep farmer brother from up 69 Mile House way.

Even though they did not even recognize me it was nice to see someone I knew in the mall. Good to be reminded I was not living in a foreign country. Even if I do.

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