10 March 2013

A Little Over 33%

Sure is nice having a coffee machine back in my life. Turn it on, listen to it fill the carafe, pour a cup into a big mug, sweeten it with agave, next thing you know you are wide awake as a hunched over crack whore working a mouthful of front seat cock at four in the morning.

What do you mean it is just me who feels like that in the morning? We are all prostitutes. I am one who gets a couple days off every week and time off the job in the summer too. A fucking whore with benefits.

Been spending a lot of time with the horses, as one does when they are paying you back for the effort it takes to handicap races. Been doing ok, still waiting to cash a ticket that changes my life forever.

After losing a little on Thursday I backed a 14-1 on Friday night at the home track. Makes you feel good when you pick a longshot at a standardbred track. The horse's trainer had changed, the crowd ignored this fact, I did not.

So on Saturday I was confident my wallet would grow as I re-focused on the thoroughbreds. All I ever shoot for is a 33% profit on a day's worth of wagers. Anything else is fucking gravy. And it does not really matter much because everything I make goes to Sonja. She knows what to do with it. I would spend it all down the pub.

First I lost a couple then I hit a 12-1. My note made before the race on the horse reads, "$7500 sire job goes again to route." While I am waiting for the price to come up ($27.00) a horse I have bet on had already begun racing at another track. Turning my attention to this race I watch him circle the field and win by a few lengths. The jockey gets really, really demonstrative after the win. Fucking near jumped off the horse as they crossed the finish line together. So I start thinking the odds might just be a little on the high side.


When betting I take the advice of Charles Bukowski: disregard the odds, it is only the winning that matters. I knew, however, this horse was a longshot - he had run a bad race before going to the sidelines for a few months and had not had a published workout that suggested he had refound his game back at the farm. Eventually the odds flash onto the screen. 80-1, motherfuckers. Payout was $169 on a two dollar bet. I have not bet two dollars on a race since the first year I began picking winners and losers. Highest odds I have ever cashed. My profit? Just a little over 33%.

Get back to you later, I have some races to figure.

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