29 March 2012
Wecome to the Romper Room
Looks like Dope City and its neighbouring local governments have come up with their Master Plan to prevent their hockey-fucked citizens from going ape shit should the Canucks somehow reach game seven of the Stanley Cup play-offs two years in a row. The government workers must be feeling well pleased with themselves - there is nothing they like better than making plans.
Their solution? It is a two part one. One of the first rules of governing is that no plan may only have one part to it. Must be multi-faceted, you know.
Firstly, no celebrations that would look out of place on Romper Room are to be permitted, except in the all the bars and restaurants where you can expect all Hell to break loose as usual.
Secondly, a police state will be created to try and keep the drunken louts from the uncivilized suburbs that surround Dope City as far away as possible. And do not think it will only be the trains, buses, borders and ferries that will have their passengers scrutinized. Expect roadblocks at the major arteries that lead into the city. Expect to show your papers and to breathe into devices that can detect whether or not you are a potential foul rioter.
Fuck the Charter of Rights and our freedom to move about as we please. It no longer applies during the play-offs. The motherfuckers would bring in the army if we had any soldiers stationed on this coast.