29 October 2011

Itchy Dog

The Hammer has been a little extra itchy lately so I took her down to the vet for a look see. The Hammer hates the vet like I hate not drinking. The vet has tried everything except a vibrator to get the Hammer to warm up to her. Nothing works but I still have to take her to get looked at every once in a while. Vets need beer money too.

The vet told us lots of dogs are extra itchy this year. Too damp or some fucking thing. Vets do not know shit. If they did they would be doctors. He suggested I try some special skin formula food for her. You know that cost an arm and a leg. The vet is going to able to buy some Glen Breton to go with his beer this weekend.

At home, I opened the bag of dog food. Fuck does it smell good. Made me drool it smelled so fucking good. Like salmon with saffron rice and fresh steamed green beans and lemon butter.

My dog likes eating rotten salmon on the river bank so she was excited as Winnipeg was excited about the return of the Jets just as soon as I opened the bag. Did her happy, happy food dance.

Vet said I should ease the new food into her diet. Mix it in with her regular food at first. Fuck that, I thought. Vets do not know shit.

But if the Hammer wet shits on the carpet in the middle of the night I am going to have some explaining to do to Sonja in the morning.


RossK said...

We have had exactly the same problem with the Wackadoodle lately.

And ya, we've got the special food too.

Food that only a 1% could afford fulltime....

Still, I thought, maybe the best way to deal with it was to take the Doodle down to the place where the River meets the Ocean and let her roll around in the fishbones, crab shells and gull poop.

So, far, six hours after the fact she is not complainin'.

(and she is no longer begging for my table scraps either)

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

We did try the sea water solution and it did not seem to do much. Unfortunately the only poop the Hammer likes to roll in does not come from the ass of a bird, which, come to think of it, she has not rolled in or eaten for quite some time. Guess that is why you are an scientist and I am on a sawmill seniority list.