18 June 2011
I have been here a long time now, drinking beer and writing the Dope City Free Press. Long enough, I guess, to be able to feel the pulse of a city that thinks it is so fucking great it has to keep telling itself how great it is. Last night, an actress on Urban Rush - my favourite television show because it is always telling me how fucking great our earthquake city is - described Dope City as "elegant." Is everybody in this town on coke and ecstasy except for me?
Overcrowded, inegalitarian, corrupt and seedy are the first words that spring to mind when I think of Dope City and there is only one verb that describes the future of the city: doomed. That actress must think the permanent stink of piss on our sidewalks is elegant.
I have been writing here so long I get to see a hint of what the elegant motherfuckers of this city are thinking by what archived articles get read because of recent events. Lately, "Luongo the Bum," "Stanley Cup Riot 2007," and "Psychic Says Canucks To Win Stanley Cup" have been popular. Feel free to read the archives. It will cost you one fuck of a lot less than what a lot of elegant suckers paid to see Milan Lucic hoist the Stanley Cup this week.