It is Easter, a solemn time when we observe the greatest motherfucking hoax of all time. Jesus and his pals were nothing but a bunch of dope smoking assholes and despite the fact they have been given over 2000 years to improve themselves the people from Jesus' old neighbourhood can still be described, accurately, in exactly the same way.
Easter is still being sold to us like it is a box of corn flakes and we keep on buying it. Fuck that shit. I am saving my money for roller derby; I am saving my money for the Resurrection of the Reign Valley Vixens' Sugah Bomb. Her return, hopefully later this year, may not save my soul's knuckles from knocking politely on the warm entrance to Hell (unless God is a big roller derby fan) but it will give me the chance to drink more beer on a Sunday than I usually do.
Easter - don't fucking buy it.
I have a couple other product notes to pass along. Firstly, go buy Jimi Hendrix's "Valleys of Neptune" cd. I do not like to go overboard on geezer rock but it made me feel like I was listening to rock 'n' roll for the first time listening to it in the car and then at home.
Secondly, get yourself some of Head and Shoulders' "Refresh" brand shampoo. The big shampoo company has put some mint into their old formula and it makes your head feel pretty god damn strange when you wash your hair with it. For you dopers out there - make sure you smoke an extra big one before you try this.
It really does feel good which got me to thinking about just how good it might feel if I put some on the old fuckstick. If this was a porn blog I would tell you how it worked out. Try it yourself this Easter. It just might bring your dick, or your boyfriend's dick, back from the dead.
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