Drink Every Drop

Sonja, who is probably going to live 40 years longer than me, and I were discussing our plans for the Canada Day long weekend. Sonja eyed my tumbler of scotch before she asked me, "You sure you are going to survive until the weekend?" Sonja could care less about me drinking beer like I am on a lifelong tropical vacation but she knows I have taken a decade or two off my life with whisky already and I do not appear to be slowing down my consumptive habits. "My doctor did not expect me to outlive Reagan, the Nazi shit. Then he thought I would never outlive Rocket Richard. I think it was the hair tonic that brought that old fucker down. My goal now is to outlive Stompin' Tom Connors."

Just then the Hammer came into the room, warned us with a choking gurgle and heaved her dinner at our feet. My dog pukes almost as much as I do.

We are heading up to a lake close enough to Sunflower Downs to give me a fighting chance of being able to drive back to it after drinking all day with the good, bad and ugly people of Princeton. After that we will get in some horseback riding, hiking and more drinking before we head back into town for the big Canada Day parade and the real party.

I am disappointed Proud Son will not ship up to Princeton from Dope City to defend his Similkameen Cup title. The classy B.C. bred gelding was claimed from the trainer who would have surely had him as ready for his first route of the year as he did last year. Hopefully another horse will have 'winner' wrote all over his form like Proud Son's last year. Not a lot of money gets wagered at the beautiful little bush track's one day meeting. If I have a good day my contribution to the day's handle may exceed 5% of it.

I will not be able to drink 5% of the beer in the beer garden. Not unless I start real early in the morning anyway. The motherfucking cowboys and cowgirls up there can pretty much all drink this city boy under the table. But I will do my best to help them drink every drop on site, same as last year.

Before the races I will be stopping into the post office. On June 29th the Anne Murray stamp is going on sale. I have to make sure to get some before they sell out. I do not use the mail much any more so I intend on buying enough Anne Murray stamps to use for the rest of my life and save a few to be buried with. Those stamps will be, after all, as close as I will ever get to laying my slithery tongue on Anne Murray.