6 May 2006

Police and Tea Leaves

Last year the sucker crowd at the Derby backed George Steinbrenner's Bellamy Road after George's horse had run a very fast race. This year the sucker crowd will therefore stay away from the previously very fast horse. For that reason my money is on #4 Sinister Minister. From the looks of the horse's work tab it looks like trainer Bob Baffert has been galloping the horse lots and lots. That is why I feel he will run at or near the lead of the race and run like Osama Bin Laden at the end of it. The odds should be appealing.

For those of you who are going to place a bet on this year's race remember: I do not know what the fuck I am doing and the Derby, because of the time of year and the huge field, is notoriously hard to predict.

Sonja and I took the Hammer with us when I went to pick up the racing paper. We stopped at a Tim Horton's for a light supper, leaving the dog in the car with all the windows rolled down. A couple SWAT guys parked their 4x4 beside our car as we watched from inside. Their dog stuck its head out and started barking and growling at the Hammer. The Hammer responded in kind. The SWAT boys sat beside us after they bought their tray of doughnuts and coffee.

I said to the one cop, "Your dog sure is a loud motherfucker."

The two cops ignored me and kept munching away. They had the look of two guys who had just cleaned out a grow-op. They smelled like dope anyway.

I asked, "Is your dog a male?" as friendily as I could manage. Outside the cop dog continued to gnash his teeth and act aggressively from the safety of his truck. The Hammer was trying to squeeze herself out the window.

"He is," the larger of the two cops finally spoke.

Sensing it would be the only opening I was going to get in our brief conversation I said, "I bet your dog wants to fuck my dog."

Sonja, by the way, hates it when I get into conversations like this. She interrupted, "Let's go." We went. I did a burn out as we left the parking lot. Inside the Tim Horton's one cop said to his partner, "Did that asshole just call us dogfuckers?"

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