18 March 2006

Canada vs Afghanistan

At the pub after work over a couple of quick black pints talk turned to war as it often does recently. Suddenly we Canadian working class motherfuckers have realized we are at war with the Taliban and whoever else would prefer us not to be getting in the way of the heroin trade in Afghanistan.

I know a little bit about Afghanistan's history so I sensibly doubt our Armed Forces presence there will amount to more than a hill of empty beer cans in the long run. Have you seen the men from Afghanistan? They are real men I tell you. Real men keep fighting when they only have one arm or one leg and no teeth or fuck all. There are tens of thousands of men like that in Afghanistan. How long would you keep fighting once one of your arms was blown off? The only favour our country could possibly lavish on Afghanistan would be to build them a world class hockey rink and teach anybody who wanted to learn the great game. Those one appendage short motherfuckers would make great hockey players.

With war being the talk of the day some of us did our usual bragging about our family's exploits in the great wars where the sides were more or less evenly matched. My family lost plenty of men in the two great wars. Newfoundlanders are always game if there is killing and dying to be done. Some of my co-worker's grandfathers and even a couple fathers did their share battling the Italians and the Germans 60 odd years ago.

A couple of the guys were noticeably silent when the the subject of what their family was up to in the Great Wars. You'll never guess what nationality they were! Both nations have reasonably low odds set for their chances of winning the World Cup. My bet is their grandfathers were fucking fascists. Fuck them.

I asked one of them what their grand father was doing in world war 2. The other one looked relieved I did not ask him. He said, "Oh, nothing much." Yeah right. My friend Stanley's dad has a better story. He was born near the German border in Poland and was shot escaping a German POW camp. He has a little scar in his back and a bigger one on the other side. Men who have the guts to escape a POW camp are the ones you want beside you in a game of hockey against the Afghani national squad.

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