2 January 2006

A Great American - Doug Flutie

We hit the poison at the drop of the puck of the USA - Canada junior hockey game on New Year's Eve. I chose a national favourite - 18 year old rye - while everyone else sucked on their favourite beer or wine. Of course Canada won. The USA cannot even win a war against a country more developed than Afghanistan. At the end of the game as Canada's captain slid the puck into the empty American hemp hut a lowlife American player tried to Bertuzzi one of our guys. The violent American only grazed our guy. Losers.

After the game we went downtown looking for Americans to elbow in the head when they were not looking. We could not find any. They were probably all hiding in spider holes.

Today watching the news an American reminded me not everybody down there is a wack job. The smile on Doug Flutie's face after he kicked the football through the posts in what will likely be his last professional football game appearance put a smile on my face as big as the one I hope to have on my face if our hockey team beats the Americans again later this week in the gold medal game. I was fortunate to see Doug quarterback the Dope City football team years ago when he first tried his hand at one of Canada's other great games. Win or lose Doug Flutie has more class than Secretariat. He is one American who is not a loser. Doug Flutie should one day be the President of the United States.

Later we barbequed a baby seal over an open fire while our pet polar bears played amongst our children. At midnight we burned an old American hockey jersey I bought at a garage sale and sang Oh Canada. We could not remember the words but we had fun trying. But we will long remember the score. Canada 3 - Losers 2.


Ed said...

Hockey, beer, group sex, and barbequed seal! I'd move to Canada if I could find it on a map!

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

We like to think of Hockey, Beer and Group Sex as the Holy Trinity up here.