HZKSB Senior's Saturday Outing

Hunky Z, Kitty, Sonja and I are four old cats. Elders we are. Not old enough for senior's discounts/old enough to be asked all the fucking time if we are.

Been around the block a few times. So when we looked at our respective skies on Saturday morning, the skies to the east featured clouds with the Steepleton chief of police's squeally hungover farm boy disposition, we all knew we had to change our Sundown Lake plans. The pub would have been as inviting as ever but the lakeside walk we needed would have been murder beneath the Steppenwolf hammer clouds.

The western sky, however, was much more promising. Did not yet have the confident, warm disposition of John Horgan but it looked like it soon would. We chose Heavestown. The river walk there is not near as nice as Sundown Lake's shore but the pub is every bit as inviting and they were sure to have the gas fireplace stoked.

The highway drive to Sliverville was uneventful except for one lone driver who was obviously from another country tooling along 55kph below the speed limit.

"Those motherfuckers don't need guns and bombs to take down our society!" I moaned amid the chaos his lack of conformity had caused. "All the crazies have to do back in crazy land is hand out driver's licenses to people and help them over here! Fuckers have already fucking near bankrupted ICBC and put half the population in a grave or the hospital!"

Sonja looked at me empathetically. I was losing my shit. Only a long walk and several alcoholic beverages could save me.

"You're cute when you lose your shit Beer. Good thing you're not a cop: you'd be on paid suspension pretty much permanently," she insincerely consoled me.

Kitty drove from Sliverville to Heavestown. I think she may have been drinking before we arrived. Good thing the Sliverville cops are drowning in murders or else one of them might have spotted her muscling her way through one red light after another. Now I truly needed a drink. I am one of those feminist guys who think women should be able to everything but drive. The Saudis will rue the day they modernized their driving rules for women. i.e. It was the only sensible law in their whole shitfuck kingdom.

Kitty looked at me in squirming in the back seat. "At least I drive better than you Grandpa!"

Hunky Z shared some capped dried magic mushrooms with us on our walk. "It is all I have left," he too moaned. "The rains will soon have me as fully supplied as the American invasion of North Korea again though."

The sun came out as we made our way to the pub and shone in their picture windows the whole time warming us like sea lions on the rocks. There was a decent satellite radio station entertaining us. Grub was exceptional. Hunky Z was on the dark rum; Kitty knocked down Canadians; Sonja enjoyed the red, red wine; I chose the draught cider - you cannot knock back anything faster than draught cider.

We toasted the North Koreans often. Their ashes will soon be blowing across the North Pacific to fertilize our forests.