12 May 2017
Sorry For Not Writing More When the Election Was Going On
Did not get much writing done this particular election cycle. You get what you pay for, motherfuckers.
Over the next few days I will try and recount what I can remember of the experience. If I cannot remember anything I will just make some shit up.
Before I went for the count on Tuesday night I walked over to the Liberal fucker who had been in and out of the same school gym as I picking up the voting records as they became available through out the day. He was waiting for a some more of his kind to join him before heading inside. He was a fucking Christian - they all have that Ned Flanders thing going on out here where we grow your corn.
Some people like me will not talk to the opposition. I am the opposite. You learn all sorts of shit talking to people you would not want to have a beer with even if they were paying you to drink it.
So we talked. I could tell he thought I was an odd fellow. He was an odd fellow himself. You would have to be to raise a fucking finger to help Christy Clark do anything but move out of the fucking province.
Eventually I asked him something I try and ask everybody sooner or later because I get so many great stories from doing so: "What was the first concert you ever saw?"
It was Ozzy. He had been in the same crowd I was in back in '81 or thereabouts. Before the Liberal motherfucker got born again.
"Everybody there was fucking wasted," I recalled.
"Me too," he said. "That was the day Jesus came into my life."
"I think you may have confused Lemmy with Jesus," I told him.
"Lemmy," he asked as if he had never heard the word before.
I rolled up my sleeve and showed him my Lemmy tattoo. One in which he has his middle finger outstretched in an un-Christian greeting.
"That does look like the Jesus who revealed himself to me that night," he gulped.
"You weren't born again that night asshole," I told him. "You were born again to rock 'n' roll. Having said that, Lemmy was fond of dressing up like a Nazi which may explain your fondness for the Liberal Party."