19 February 2017

Six Different High End Root Beer



If the word beer is in it I am all for it. Beer is good in everything and with everything. Everything can be improved with it and everything can be made worse without it.

I like beer soup, beer soap, beer bread, beer baths, beer trucks, beer lasagna, beer guts, beer hunts, beer haunts, beer can chicken, beer fights, beer wars, beer gardens and the beer barrel polka.

So here is my story. I was in a candy store. All the candy looked tasty but I did not buy any. Instead I bought six different high end root beer I had never tried before. Now they are all gone and you know what? They all tasted good but they all tasted inferior to the root beer they pour at A&W. Which got me thinking about beer and beer sommeliers and all their beer sommelier bull shit.

The fancy root beer I bought cost me far more than fast food root beer yet it did not even taste as good as the cheap shit. All I was paying for was the fucking label.

So if you are drinking a fancy bottle of beer right now, maybe even thinking you are some kind of hipster motherfucker for doing so, you may want to think about the possibility you could have bought some of the cheap beer your dad drank and looked yourself in the mirror the next day and not thought you are a moron like I did this morning.


4 comments:

karen said...

I don't know a single thing about beer, aside from it being an excellent beverage and indeed a pretty good substitute for food. I can never remember the difference between a pilsner and an ale or what IPA stands for. A few years ago, I was lucky to have a job where I travelled around the province and taught motherfuckers how to drive forklifts or build scaffolds that won't fall down and wherever I went I tried the local beers. I have had great beer and I have had okay beer and I had one or two that I wouldn't pay money for again. Two years ago a bartender in Castlegar introduced me to Nelson's winter beer - Faceplant - and that is currently my favourite beer.

Also, it is my opinion that if it is not drunk out of a frosted mug in your car, brought to you by a girl who carried that tray in one hand at shoulder height, it is not really rootbeer.

Anonymous said...

I remember my Dad coming home with a glass gallon jug of Dog 'n' Suds root beer from their drive-in on Marine Drive in N. Van. Mmm...

My first taste of ginger beer was in the middle of a hot spring day of riding my bike around and I stopped at some random corner store for a drink. Seeing no ginger ale I thought ginger beer was close enough and bought a can. Finding some shade against the side of the building I pulled the tab and took a long deep swig of the most vile thing I'd ever tasted.

Nowadays summer is not complete without at least 1 stop at A&W for a frosted mug of root beer - preferably with some too greasy onion rings.

Have you tried Brownie Caramel Cream Root Beer?

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

K - A proper drink, properly served, is forever associated with a good memory or two.

A - I may have to go back to that candy store and see if a Brownie is amongst the many cold root beers I left in the cooler that root beer day.

Lenin's Ghost said...

Too bad. I enjoy a good ginger boot once in a while. It's an acquired taste but is quite refreshing. A & W is still good root beer. Too bad the food is shit.