19 February 2017
Six Different High End Root Beer
If the word beer is in it I am all for it. Beer is good in everything and with everything. Everything can be improved with it and everything can be made worse without it.
I like beer soup, beer soap, beer bread, beer baths, beer trucks, beer lasagna, beer guts, beer hunts, beer haunts, beer can chicken, beer fights, beer wars, beer gardens and the beer barrel polka.
So here is my story. I was in a candy store. All the candy looked tasty but I did not buy any. Instead I bought six different high end root beer I had never tried before. Now they are all gone and you know what? They all tasted good but they all tasted inferior to the root beer they pour at A&W. Which got me thinking about beer and beer sommeliers and all their beer sommelier bull shit.
The fancy root beer I bought cost me far more than fast food root beer yet it did not even taste as good as the cheap shit. All I was paying for was the fucking label.
So if you are drinking a fancy bottle of beer right now, maybe even thinking you are some kind of hipster motherfucker for doing so, you may want to think about the possibility you could have bought some of the cheap beer your dad drank and looked yourself in the mirror the next day and not thought you are a moron like I did this morning.