13 June 2015
This one is for y'all from parts distant from Dope City.
My province's Premier (a government title conferring its holder a little less power than a nine year old child's hockey coach) decided about a week ago we should celebrate International Yoga Day by closing down one of Dope City's bridges to traffic for half a day so people could lay out their fucking mats and pray to their swami or whatever it is they do when getting all bendy and shit.
And I think I am an Anarchist! Dope City has got so fucking congested with traffic the Committee to End the Motherfucking Arms Race stopped blocking traffic on the very same bridge once a year because they knew they were pissing off too many people by doing so.
To make matters worse, our Premier cannot even read a fucking calendar. International Aboriginal Day falls the same day as International Fucking Yoga Day. Our Premier, who plays kiss-ass with my province's resurgent Aboriginal community whenever she wants to fuck them over good and hard, was not planning anything special for them the same day.
Once word reached our Premier the aboriginal community would like to celebrate their day by shutting down the bridge the whole fucking weekend to show her they know the shitty end of stick when they see one the whole Bullshit Yoga Bridge Closing Celebration was cancelled faster than a dope sick whore can suck dick.
I hope I can get an exchange on the wing-ding yoga pants I just bought.