18 June 2015

Dope City Free Press Statistics Day (Yawn)

Ever wonder who the fuck reads the Dope City Free Press besides yourself? Probably not but I am going to tell you just for the fuck of it.

You are mostly like to be, in order, a Canadian or a fucking American. The bloody Brits, Squareheads and the Anarchist French fill out the top five.

The country Canada likes beating the brains out of in hockey the most is next; followed by everybody's favourite not-communist-any-mores the Chinese; next up are Indonesians who ought to be preparing for the next tsunami to hit them instead of reading my shit; following them are my beer drinking crocodile fighting buddies the Aussies; filling out the top ten is Brazil who can only afford to do shit like read my blog after spending all their money and then some on last year's World Cup and the Olympics next year.

What I find interesting in the statistics Google compiles about my place in the big fat fucked up internet universe is the smaller countries that sometimes rise into the top ten on a weekly or monthly basis.

Places like Portugal, Ireland and India.

One country you would think might crack the top ten once in a while is fucking Japan. Well populated fucking country after all. Every other country on Earth likes to read a little English language content now and again. English is, after all, the best most expressive language in use on Earth. Not the Japanese. Do not want to piss those fuckers off though because they buy a lot lumber that keeps me and the brothers working. And besides, kicking their ass in a war once sure made them a lot more friendly to the rest of the world even if deep down they still wish they were Hitler's little buddies fighting openly for Fascism.


JustFrankie said...

A few weeks ago while vacationing in Europe, I definitely read DCFP in Belgium. So that might explain that one. I might have read it in Prague, too. Really wish I would have opened it up in France and Greece. Just tryin to help a motherfucker out

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I have long thought The Dope City Free Press might just be popular with people on the run. I would like to think those jailbirds who got out of jail free in New York might come across the DCFP one day. Stay free, motherfuckers. You too Frankie.