29 March 2015

Oh Good! The Government Tries To Tackle Left Lane Hogs

The fucking government of my fine province recently decided to make driving in the passing lane a little too slowly for their asshole friends in their overpriced German cars an offence for which the highway patrol may fine you. Got a lot of play in the media for doing so. Introduced the derogatory phrase "left hand lane hogs" while they were at it.

People who think the government can come up with shit like that and change people's behaviour in less than several hundred years (if ever) have already stopped reading this. Those of you who are still with me know better.

Allow me to illustrate what the fucking government is up against. Last night Sonja and I were returning to our country home from the Dope City Car Show. It was raining hard enough to give Noah an erection. No one could see a god damn thing. Despite this everybody (everybody!) but us were driving in the left lane slower than Willie Nelson drives through Colorado these days.

The fucking government (any fucking government) thinks they can change this - get everybody (everybody!) into the right hand lane. What will happen, of course, is that even more people will drive needlessly in the left hand lane than already do. As this becomes clear some asshole will demand the fine for driving needlessly in the left hand lane be tripled which the fucking government will do faster than grass passes through a Canada goose.

Hope you enjoy paying your bloodsucking fine then, motherfuckers.


Anonymous said...

Others stuck in the left lane include industrial vehicles on the island highway:

The island Hwy. allows speeds up to 120 kmh, this includes b-trains, logging trucks, propane trucks, gasoline, diesel, heavy equipment carriers, and blasting vehicles laden with explosives.

All this from a government that wants to bring LNG tankers within range of our communities, blow up mill workers, and tell us to be safe out there ...

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Don't get me going on trucks and their "professional" driving habits. If those assholes want to move goods around efficiently so badly maybe they should be the ones paying for improved transit, bridge crossings and such. Leave poor schmucks like us out of it!