23 February 2015

Curly and His Girlfriend Do Mardi Gras

My old friend Curly just got back from New Orleans. Drove the whole way there and back with his girl friend just to experience Mardi Gras. Fat Fucking Tuesday. For the first and probably only time in their lives.

"Motherfuckers were puking and pissing right there on the sidewalk. If they weren't so god damn drunk they would have have pulled down their pants and shit on the sidewalk too. Smelled like a lot of them had been shitting their pants that's for sure.

"That sure as fuck was not in the tourist brochure. Americans have got no fucking class whatsoever. I'm a Canadian for fuck's sake. I like to do my pissing, puking and shitting in the outhouse."

"And all the Americans wanted me to do was show them my tits," Curly's girl continued. "I might have but most the men down there have bigger tits than I do. Look at your own fucking tits is what I got to telling them.

"By next morning I was beginning to understand why those ISIS creeps want to go on beheading Americans - puking, pissing, pantsshitting, want to look at your tits motherfuckers! That's America. That's Mardi Gras. New Orleans can go fuck itself if you ask me."


ib said...

Nice piece.

Those ISIS fuckers make a better job of covering their tits, that's for sure. Probably why they started cultivating beards in extremis in the first instance.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I've not been a big fan of Muslim loons whatever their moniker but now they are talking about blowing up the big mall in Edmonton I am beginning to think they just may have redeeming aspects after all.