14 April 2014

On the Sudden Death of Canada's Minister of Finance

Well he was only 5'3"
But girls could not resist his stare
Jim Flaherty never got called an asshole
Not in Ottawa

- with apologies to John Cale

Had not seen Dave Gregg in a long time before he died. That will happen. Last I heard of him he was selling crap for bands on tour so they could afford to get to the next town on their itinerary (the smaller acts) or so they could afford more cocaine to fuel their personal jets (the big motherfuckers). Did not even know he was playing guitar for years in the Real McKenzies.

As has been well established over the years, I do not know shit.

Despite our obvious distance his death came as one fuck of a Doc in the guts. Guess those of us old school punk rockers who lived past their 20s figure we are going to live forever or some fucking thing. Or, if not forever, that we would meet again for happy hour beers, before we fucked off for good, in a senior's residence built atop the crumbling rat teeming ruin of the Smilin' Buddha Cabaret.

When I heard the bad news I could think, off the top of my head, of several billion people I would have preferred to die before they reached the age union forestry workers can start having monthly cheques mailed to them in Mexico.

So it came as a justified relief when word spread around the sawmill on Friday that Jim Flaherty had died. The fucking cunt. He is the thieving asshole that stole two years of my pension from me (and millions of others) with a stroke of a pen a few years ago.

And I do mean stole.

You would think the ex-minister of Fucking With the Finances of Canadians would have got nothing but hisses and jeers from the Opposition once word got around Parliament Hill he had croaked. Instead there was a line up from Ottawa to Port Hardy wanting to kiss his crooked ass.

I have few words to mark the the death of Jim Flaherty. I could say it was timely but he died a few years too late. See you in Hell, motherfucker.


Your driver said...

Hey Beer, been a while. Sorry. I met Dave a few times. I got in a really dumb argument with him once when I was drunk. Got to apologize a year or two later. I just found out my oldest cousin died. Teamster, Vietnam vet. Too fucking young. Coolest guy in my high school died too. Biker. Had a fake ID and drove a cab to make money to buy a Harley pan head when he was 17. He rode till cancer got him three years ago. I do not want politicians fucking with me in my terminal decline.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Good to hear from you. The old refrain was, "Punk will never die!" not "Punks will never die!"

Only cousin of mine who is dead od'd real young.

Not even sure who the coolest guy in my high school was. The guy who first comes to mind died in his 20s however. Made it to his late 20s at least.

Dave was quite the guy. With the exception of Joe and Brian from DOA no one entertained me in person more often. Only saw him play in the Groovaholics once. Dave was dressed as Uncle Sam I think. Maybe Santa Claus. My gut hurt the next morning I laughed so hard.

No one guessed Brad (later of the Avengers), who Dave replaced as DOA's 2nd guitar, would outlive Dave (or just about anybody for that matter). Motherfucker just might outlive us all.

Anonymous said...

Fuck I love bloggers.
Great writing, thanks!

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Cheers. I do this for love, not money, motherfuckers.