8 January 2014

Know Your Product

Unlike a lot of fucking blogs the Dope City Free Press does not promote a lot of products. What products we do promote (mostly booze and music) we have enjoyed enthusiastically. Generally, this here electronic press would prefer you spend what extra smash you have about at the end of the month pissing off the motherfucking boss like the sneaky motherfuckers who got to share a Dope City stage with His Assholiness, our Prime Minister, this week.

Today I make an exception.

I shave. With a fucking razor. (I tried shaving with an electric razor once but found the horrendous buzzing noise to be incompatible with the hangover I had that morning.) I have used Gillette Mach III razors for quite some time now. They are expensive but I get a lot of shaves out of them.

When I went for new blades recently all Shopper Heaven had in stock were packs of blades packaged together with Gillette's newest invention - a battery powered vibrating razor.

The vibrating razor gives me my best shaves ever. No shit. And when Sonja sticks it up my ass when I am about to shoot a load through the back of her skull it makes me want to become a spokesman for the Gillette company. I would eat Mr. Gillette's shit and say it tasted like Christmas chocolate this product is so fucking good.


Anonymous said...

Make sure you discard that blade first big shooter ;-)

JustFrankie said...

I got the vibrating fusion 5.

Very Pleasurable

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

We have come a long way since Lemmy first sang, "Straight and true and all for you." Nowadays if it does not vibrate nobody wants it.