20 March 2013
Murder City Blues
Back in Sliverville, where I played my street hockey and drank my first Black Labels, there have, officially, been 11 murders this year. That will be fucking near 50 official murders by year's end if nothing changes.
And nothing will, motherfuckers.
Meanwhile Sliverville's ditzy Christy clone of a mayor wants her city folk and the world at large to believe her city is as appealing, pretty and has more potential than an above average Miss Cloverdale with a mickey in her purse and a bag of Angel weed tucked into her bra..
The Dope City Free Press does its best to lay off cliches but today the motherfucking editor cannot resist invoking one. You can put lipstick on a pig of a Miss Cloverdale but on Friday night if you take her home after the last race at Fraser Downs you will still be fucking a pig.
If Sliverville had the same population as Philadelphia its murder rate would top that American cesspool's. Cut the bullshit Mayor Christy Clone - you are not fooling anybody with your Chamber of Commerce crap.