11 December 2012

My Way

There is a moral or two to this story. Fair warning.

I have here before remarked as to how writing the Dope City Free Press has opened me up to new experiences, new sensations. That, I should think, is why I keep writing here instead of burning out or fading away like most such enterprises as this do before seven years have passed by. You might say new experiences and new sensations are the currency I am paid in.

Most of the time I write about walking my dog. That is what I do. Makes it more entertaining for me when I get to write about something else. To paraphrase Buk, if I'm not entertained, nobody fucking is.

At the alcohol peyote retreat I recently attended my hosts put on a karaoke night. I have never done karaoke on account of the fact I cannot sing. That is why Mr. Beer N. Hockey does not have a Christmas special on television tonight. Sort of like why I have never flown an airplane. Any how, the karaoke book was being passed around so I looked over Sonja's shoulder to see what songs other people besides me might be singing.

"Hey," I said to Sonja, "The Sex Pistols' 'My Way' is in there."

Hunky Z and Kitty, who were nearby, overheard what I said and joined Sonja begging me to sing it knowing I never would no matter how much booze and peyote was in me.

"Fuck you all," I told them, and told the karaoke master to queue us up some Sid Vicious. He introduced me to the crowd, "Mr. Beer! From Canada!"

Drink in hand I belted it out. Loud I can do. Forgot how many cunts, fucks and queers were in the song. I added a motherfucker or two. Down there in Hell Sid may just have cracked a smile.

"I did it my way, motherfuckers!"

Quite a few people clapped when I was done. Do not believe anyone has ever clapped for me before. Goes to show you how fucking great the Sex Pistols were. Even I can make a song of their's sound good.

When I looked for the three people who had urged me on I could not find them but there was a crowd of people by the bar where they once were. Turned out Hunky had laughed so hard during my performance he had fell off his bar stool onto his head. Hard. The ambulance was already on its way.

They only kept him a night. He is okay now. He was the first casualty at the retreat. There would be one more.


RossK said...

Very strange.

During the beer break after our Saturday afternoon sound check before this, the Geezers and I actually thought about slipping a little Sidified 'My Way' into our Christmas song opening act...

In the end, though, we chickened-out, worried about the reaction of a bunch of science geeks.

Maybe next year we can slip in the punked-up version of White Christmas we did for the kids earlier in the week.


Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

It is a great song and something of an unknown one to too many. I got cheered by drunk Mexicans for singing it. If, as I am guessing, the science geeks you speak of are primarily from karaoke loving cultures, they would have loved "My Way."

Kick it.

RossK said...


It took me a moment.

And then I got it.

You are, indeed, correct re: Karoake and Culture.

However, am I still correct in assuming that this does not necessarily mean they would enjoy 'Kick Out The Jams' by the MC5?


Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I bet the geeks would love that MC5 song. One of their biggest fan clubs is in Japan. My point, I suppose, is that popular music has become such a pile of crap that just about anything from the punk rock song book sounds great for all kinds of good reasons to just about anybody now.

RossK said...

Someday I'll have to tell you about my science geek-hosted trip to Japan...You will very much dig my 7 nights of faux pas's that just about blew my head up.

(Speaking of which - send me an Email so I can fill you in on the Uke FolkFunkFusionFest on Jan 3rd - address is on the profile page)