14 December 2011

Oklahoman Rednecks

I'm thinking of you down in Mexico,
Feeling free as the air,
Here I am stuck in the city,
Still going nowhere.

- Edward Bear

Meet a lot of strange motherfucking people down in Mexico. Strange motherfuckers from all over the world. I imagine everybody who spends a little time down there comes home thinking the same thing.

Even the Canadians are strange down in Mexico.

My favourite people thus far are two couples from Oklahoma. Turns out both couples are associated with horse racing: thoroughbreds at Remington Park,
whose season just ended; and pintos they race on some dusty track called the Middle of Fucking Nowhere Downs.

All four of them are a little younger than Sonja and I and about ten times as loud. The men were taking turns throwing one another in the pool, comparing the banana hammocks bulging from their overly tight speedos and pretending to hump one another every chance they got.

"Once I have got about five more of these here Mexican Hurricanes in my belly I am going to take you up to my room and give you a better butt fucking than you got from our high school football coach."

"You'll never fuck me as good as that you redneck motherfucker. Your dick is too small!"

All the while their wives were pissing themselves with laughter in their beach chairs and egging their men on.

"It is too small. But that's ok. I like motherfucking rednecks with cute little dog peckers."

It was 10:30 AM when they were carrying on like this. Five hours after they had woke both Sonja and I up as they returned, just before dawn, from a damn decent night of partying.

Fucking Oklahomans are my kind of people. 

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