29 September 2011

Talking On The Telephone

I get behind when it comes to talking to people on the telephone. Only person I ever spent much time on the phone with was my first girlfriend. My dad, who can talk on the phone all day, could not believe it.

"What the fuck is Beer doing on the phone?" he would ask my mom.

"It's his girlfriend on the other end," my mom would tell him. "I think they are in love."

"How can you tell that?" my dad asked.

"I saw him rubbing the phone on his dick when she thought she was talking with him yesterday," my overly observant mom told him.

I was itchy.

This week I have been catching up on my phone calls during my breaks and my lunch hour. The fucking boss frowns on us blabbing into our phones all day long. I finished making all the appointments that us old guys need to make to make sure we are still alive so far this week. The rest of the week the people I do not talk to too much but have to talk to every once in while will get dialed up. The best part about phoning those people from work is that they usually are not home during the day. I leave a message.

"It's Beer. Where the fuck are you? Phone me back. We should go drinking some time."

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