11 June 2011

She Is My Best Friend

I would not write half the shit I do write if not for the Hammer. Animals are so much like us and so much unlike us. Take this morning for instance. I was lying there sleeping when the Hammer came in and woke me up. I could ignore her of course but that would be an invitation for her to vomit in front of the fireplace. That is her vomiting place.

I like to vomit. Makes me feel like a man. The Hammer likes to vomit more. Keeps her master on his toes.

I like the morning. The Hammer likes it more. If she had not woke me up I would have had an hour or two less of consciousness today. I would not have had time to do the things I do, like typing, before the beer does what it does to me.

Last weekend it was sunny and hot. I took the Hammer to her favourite creek, the one with the big beaver pond. She was so happy. Maybe even happier than all the Canuck fans were last night and she does not even smoke dope and drink beer like they all do.

A happy dog makes me happy. Happy me likes to write. The Hammer wants me to take her to the park for her morning shit. Too bad she cannot use the crapper like me. I guess that is it for the typing this morning.


Nazz Nomad said...

When my son was about 8, he had a couple of days of major puking. I taught him then how puking is cool and a necessary part of manhood. They can take away our music, and our rights, but they can't take away our puking.

I wish I had a dog.

RossK said...

It would appear that one can get quite a bit of good typing done between the calls for the barfing and the pooping.

Never thought of trying that.


Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Nazzy - "Puking is cool and a necessary part of manhood." Sounds like a great line to start a song, poem, play or novel with. Hell, the motherfuckers who wrote the Bible ought to have included the line, : "...and on the eighth day God heaved his fucking guts out."

Gazzy - Every man should have a system.

Anonymous said...

Oh yuk!!! Barfing is horrid.

If men love to barf. Too bad they can't be the pregnant ones, who barf "morning sickness", morning, noon and night. As well as that, you would have to pee, at least 60 times a day. Eventually you can no longer walk, you waddle. Ever had to try and squish your self, into a restaurant booth? Try typing, when your belly doesn't allow you, to get close enough to the computer to type.

Jeesh, you guys get all the breaks. Barfing once in a blue moon, big deal!!!