16 June 2011
Full Moon Losers
I sat there in my Bruins' jersey, a Faster Pussy Cats undershirt and a pair of stained boxers, my oldest ones that let my cock and everything hang out, and watched the hockey game. No way I was going to the bar in a Bruins' jersey to watch the Canucks lose. I am not that fucking tough.
When Sonja came home from work she took one look at me and said, "Figure the Bruins will never lose if you are wearing your lucky junk hanging out gonch?"
The Canucks are still fucking losers. I will collect on my bets in time to risk it all at the racetrack on the weekend.
Some of you may have wondered how I could have predicted a Bruins victory when the home team just about always wins seventh games in the Stanley Cup play-offs. Karma, something the Canucks have long been short of, made half the decision for me. The other half came from a little studied bit of statistics. How do you think the Canucks have done when the moon is full over the years? Even worse than usual. The same way the people who shelled out thousands to watch the game in person felt when the third goal slipped by Luongo like yet another good idea past a politician.