10 December 2010

21st Century Americans

The American tourists I meet these days are not near as fucking bad as their evil motherfucking descendants from last century. So far this holiday I have met two American families.

The first is a young Jewish family from around New York. A quiet, affable pair and their three young ones. The exact opposite of a typical family of American tourists I was forever running into years ago. The guy knows about hockey, has even attended a few Ranger/Islander games. They are discrete about their drinking. They are not even fat. Probably they are on pills. A classy fucking American. How about that?

The second family are from Oklahoma some fucking place. The old man is your basic American retard - but nice. The sort of guy who would help you out if your car was broken down between Tulsa and whatever the fuck else is in Oklahoma. His wife has a big old American hair-do but it is not half as big as the hair American women used to sport. I have a theory that you can tell how good Americans are feeling about themselves by the size of their women's hair-dos. They are feeling like a drizzly Mexican beer shit these days. Look at Sarah Palin - there is a woman and her hair who does not feel real good about shit.

The Oklahomans brought their teenage kids with them. Whole family is fucking near as pissed as the Ontarians. One of their teenagers has some sort of developmental problem with an emphasis on mental. He fucked off into town when his folks were not looking and got himself several Mexican blowjobs. Did not return until his old man had reported him missing to the police. "I tried to be pissed at him when he showed up at 7:30 in the morning but how can you be pissed at a boy for going off and getting his dick sucked?"  


Nazz Nomad said...

comments such as the following are the reason that we americans are the greatest country on earth:

"I tried to be pissed at him when he showed up at 7:30 in the morning but how can you be pissed at a boy for going off and getting his dick sucked?"

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Second greatest.