Psychic Says Canucks to Win Stanley Cup in 3056

Sonja was behind a velvet curtain getting her fortune read. We were at the Dope City Fair. Last day. The psychic was working alone, there were not a lot of people around because of the rain, that left me in the open parlour facing our fellow fair goers as they passed by. Me and my flask. People were looking at me. Surely that strange man cannot be a psychic. Lucky for them I was in a performing mood.

"I predict rain for today."

The people laughed. Someone asked, "Could you predict a little sunshine for later on?"

I hovered my hands over my crystal flask like a movie psychic. "Doesn't look like it," I told him. "But if you give me $25 I will."

More people strolled by. They were covered with rain gear of every description. From climbing gear to punk rock green garbage bags. People were looking at me like I might predict something.

"I predict the Canucks will one day win the Stanley Cup."

The people cheered disbelievingly.

"Don't get too excited though. They aren't going to win it until 3035."

Now people were starting to think I really was psychic.

I needed a beer. Being a psychic is hard work.

I only ever had my fortune read once, back when I was a single fucker. The psychic told me, "A Swedish woman will drive you crazy the rest of your life." How can you not believe in psychics with predictions like that?
 
Sonja came out from behind the curtain with the psychic. She was smiling.

"What did she say?" I asked as we made our way to the beer garden.

"She says you are wrong about the Canucks. She says they are going to win it all for the first time in 3056."

There were more soldiers than usual at the fair. Some of them have probably even killed people. They were manning at least a couple propaganda tents. I am thinking it will not be long until we are at war with someone besides the motherfucking Taliban.

Sonja made me go into the animal shed. The shed roof had more leaks in it than the Liberal's alibis about how they got sandbagged by the whole HST thing. There were a couple big Italian cows in there. I love those big Italian cows. Sonja loved the rabbits. They were pretty fucking cute.

We got to the beer garden and sat down. We had a waiter to ourselves. We put him to work. Pretty soon it was obvious we were not going to make it to see Trooper in the evening. It was a great fair. 100 years of motherfucking fun.