2010 Love Song

Sometimes, right about now, three days past Christmas, it crosses my mind that maybe, just maybe, I could drink a little less than I do. A day or two, during these dying days of yet another terrorized year, sometimes even goes by without me drinking at all. If I would only stick to the beer at Christmas. If only, if only, only...

I have been singing a song to myself today. A man has to entertain himself somehow when he is not being entertained by booze. It might be a little tasteless, I thought, as I was singing the song to myself. It might be tasteless enough to not share it with the world, I thought. Then I thought better.

I wanna fuck Suzy Shameless

I wanna kiss her pink tits

I wanna spank her ample ass

I wanna lick her arm pits

When Suzy knocks another girl

Onto the concrete floor

It makes me feel like a man

I am a roller derby whore

I wanna fuck Suzy Shameless

I wanna kiss her pink tits

I wanna spank her ample ass

I wanna lick her arm pits

When Suzy shakes her belly

That says she likes to pop cherries

I'd like to bake a cherry pie

And rock 'n' roll like the Pink Fairies

I wanna fuck Suzy Shameless

I wanna kiss her pink tits

I wanna spank her ample ass

I wanna lick her arm pits

I wanna fuck

Every roller girl in town

And a couple of the roller girls

From motherfucking Edmonton

(But not as much as)

I wanna fuck Suzy Shameless

She's my roller derby queen

She's eight wheels of love

I wanna be her Charlie Sheen