27 December 2009

Status Quo's Caroline

Sonja bought me a turntable for Christmas. I guess I have reached the age where the best Christmas present I can get is an upgrade on something I already own. Next year maybe I will get a new penis pump. I have been using an old turntable of Reggie's since the one I had since the Clash released their third album crapped out on me. It worked good but the new one works better.

She bought it at a store that sells musical instruments. It is made for disc jockeys. You can call me DJ Beer from now on, motherfuckers. She could not believe some of the things she saw in the music store. She asked me, "Did you know you can buy a fucking ukulele for over $4oo?"

Once I set it up I had to decide which record to play on it first. I pulled out one of the first albums that got me rocking when I was a long hair teenage freak in search of a riot, Status Quo's "Hello." Put on the second side, the side that begins with "Caroline." Listening to the song always takes me back to Rude Norton rocking the Bad Allah Cabaret; Dimwit strangling his guitar like a serial killer; Brad Cunt reminding everybody he was the best second guitar player in the long history of DOA; Wimpy making us spew beer on the dance floor because he was so god damn funny; and all the other talented people in Rude Norton who let me gob good naturedly on them now and again.

If you want to turn me onto
Anything you really want to
Turn me onto your love sweet love

If the night-time is the right time
Anytime of yours is my time
We can find time for love sweet love

Come on sweet Caroline
You're my sweet Caroline
You know I want to take you
I've really got to make you
Come on sweet Caroline
Take my hand
Together we can rock-n-roll

When I'm thinking of you sleeping
I'm at home alone and weeping
Are you keeping your love sweet love

Do you still care when I'm not there
Do you really wish I was there
Can I come there for love sweet love

1 comment:

Jon said...

I know you were disappointed about the ukulele. I like a man who accepts unwanted presents with good grace and appreciation for the spirit if giving.