29 September 2009

Another Fishing Trip Gone Horribly Wrong

It was the end of another fishing trip. The cars were packed and it was time to go. As the cars warmed, heaters slowly melted a thick coat of frost off windshields. I decided to let the Hammer have a last quick run around in case she needed to take a shit before the long drive home to Dope City. You do not want to be in a car long with a dog that needs to take a shit.

The Hammer ran over to a nearby cabin and began eating something off the ground. I went over to see what she was eating. She will eat anything. This time she was eating somebody's puke off the dirt. Hunks and hunks of ice cold puke.

You know what I did. I puked my fucking guts out right then and there. It felt fantastic. All the retching attracted Hunky and Henrik's attention and they came over to see what was going on. By then the Hammer had switched to eating my puke. She was eating it as it fountained out of my belly. Henrik and Hunky both started puking then. The Hammer thought she had died and gone to Puke Heaven.

The door of the cabin we were puking in front of then swung open. A male, with his dick hanging out of his shorts, opened the door and asked, "What the ...?" before he leaned over and started puking too. He was followed out the door by his wife, who I figured was probably the one who puked in front of the cabin the previous night because next thing you know she was lying on the deck dry heaving. They had a baby in the cabin who was probably puking too.

After a bit we all sort of got control of ourselves. Somebody had to say something and it was Henrik who spoke up after surveying the scene and cleaning his face with his sleeve. "Looks like somebody around here can't handle their fucking booze."


Jon said...

Some years ago, I was back in Indiana visiting. Everywhere I went I saw places where I remembered puking. "I puked in that alley. I puked in the men's room in there. I puked out behind that place. I puked behind that bush." I was pretty good about puking. I never just let fly on the floor or the furniture. Man did I puke a lot. This post was a trip down memory lane.

There's a part of me that wants to get up and walk away from the goddam internet, but I can't seem to do it. Glad you were able to separate for a while. I carried the trash out tonight. The moon was shining. It was beautiful. The air smelled like horse shit. I thought, "This used to be enough." Then I went inside and checked my email.

mollymew said...

I gotta say that you really put on some wild parties.

Nazz Nomad said...

Ladies and gentlemen, The Aristocrats!