5 August 2009

Ode to Gordon Campbell, the Great Big Dick

My computer suffered a stroke during the recent heat wave. Looks like service may just return to normal if it starts up for me again tomorrow. In the meantime I have the beginnings of a poem for Gordon Campbell, just the first two lines, you might like to help me complete.

Gordon Campbell is an asshole
He's a great big dick...


Jon said...

I was starting to worry about you. As to the poem, it starts out well.

theo said...

A terminal waste of oxygen,
A lying pile of shit,
Driven by an ideology,
As mean-spirited as can be,
A soulless motherfucker
Whose deeds shall always be:
“Government is for enriching,
Only my friends and me!”

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I kid you not Jon: our big dick daddy asshole of a provincial leader has named our newest rip off sales tax regime the Harmonized Sales Tax (HST). The sacred cow has been gored as if Nixon's crooked ghost were whispering sweet, "Fuck yous!" into Campbell's ear.

I kid you not Theo: we got a poem going on!

Jon said...

I see our own Bill Clinton has done a small good deed. Many years ago, when Bill was a young up and comer, I called a friend in Arkansas. My friend is active in state politics and knew Clinton. I asked "What's he like anyhow?"

"He's the kind of guy who'll piss in your ear and tell you it's raining."

"So," I asked, "Are you going to vote for him?"

"Oh, Yeah."

Politics is like that. It's basically the business of killing people and stealing their shit. When considering politicians, even the ones you like, it helps to visualize them with blood covered hands, their faces and clothing splashed with gore.

You can't really get anywhere in politics unless you are willing to kill people and steal their shit.

mollymew said...

How about the following next two lines, in Canadian nationalist mood:
"If he sees a Yankee pole
He'll give it one big lick"

Glad to see you back Beer. As I said before here I was beginning to worry that your selling the bikers Tapazole instead of happy pills had caught up to you. I guess that the bikers are still fat, happy and lazy from your last shipment. Keep it up. Your posts are one of the bright spots of my day.

theo said...

I think Molly’s contribution slots in real well after your starter.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I prefer to visualize politicians dining on living babies.