The recent heatwave gave me something I did not need besides an excuse to drink more beer. I got a rash. An itchy rash.
I thought it would go away but it was not going away so I went to the drug store. In the drug store I stood in front of the pharmacy counter and hoped it would be one of the pretty young Chinese girls who would ask if I needed help. I am not that lucky. Instead of a pretty Chinese girl I got a white guy older than me. I told him, "I got a fucking rash and I do not know what to put on it. Never had a rash before."
The white guy older than me asked me, "Is it between your legs?"
I answered, "What?"
"The rash," he deadpanned back.
That was where I was itchy alright.
I followed him to the aisle you go to if you are itchy between your legs. I hope I am not still itchy at the roller derby tomorrow night.