Horse With No Name

It is a good thing Dope City Downs' thoroughbred meeting begins Saturday because I have not been able to think about anything but roller derby since last Saturday night. Derby is some magic shit. All the first time derby watchers sitting near me on Saturday night got it too. They all fell under the spell of roller derby the way I once was hypnotized by Marilyn Chambers' acting abilities. It is not good for a man to think about one thing too much no matter how good the thing is he is thinking about. Especially not roller derby or Marilyn Chambers. Makes it kind of hard to walk around.

Like my fellow avid horse players I have been keeping an eye on the morning workout times of the horses in training at my favourite racetrack not named Sunflower Downs. The times recorded by the clockers have been kind of slow compared to previous springs. Perhaps the horsemen have been unwilling to run their animals as fast as usual because spring has been unseasonably cold.

If the best horses have not been prepared as well as they might have been it may present a few more winning opportunities for longshots entered in the first weeks of the meeting who have been exercized a little harder in the mornings by wily trainers.

There is one horse in particular I am waiting on this spring. Its workouts, a little faster than it posted last year, suggest it may just be ready to win early and win often this year. I will need a wheelbarrow to transport my winnings to the car if it wins its first race; just like I did when it won at long odds last year. See you at the Finish Line, motherfuckers.