8 December 2008

Christmas Tree Hunt


First we went to the Chinese Christmas tree store. The owner was helpful but they did not have the live Christmas tree we were looking for. "I wouldn't have stopped there if I knew it was a Chinese place," I said to Sonja as my car spit gravel into the parking lot and we continued down the road. "What the fuck does China know about Christmas?"

A man in a turban greeted us at the next place we stopped into. "How are you wanting your Christmas tree?" he asked with a Tommy Chong smile. Sonja and I looked around his lot for a good tree. We did not find one. "I don't know why people call the Punjabs Hindoos," I said to Sonja as we left. "People ought to call them Hindon'ts because they sure don't have very nice Christmas trees."

The next place we stopped at was a white man's Christmas tree shop. The white man had an excellent tree selection. Lots of live ones, lots of dead ones and lots of tree species.

We picked out a Norwegian spruce, paid the man and got the fuck out of there. That tree is going to look real good this Christmas after I have had a few.

2 comments:

Jon said...

"What the fuck does China know about Christmas?" Everything they need to know. Christmas is about cheap useless shit and lots of it. Lots and lots of it. China has always been about large scale. If Christmas as we know it did not exist, China would have had to invent it. By the way, are you having problems with 'foreigners'? The verification word is 'unit rich'.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Naw. I haven't been having problems with any foreigners. Sometimes I just like to use our language a little like Hemingway did once. My country's changing racial make up does present one with opportunities for things to write about that were hard to find at one time in this country.

I grew up in a white country with a smattering of non-European immigrants and Indians, some of them in downtown cores and some of them on reserve so we did not see them much. It is not like that now. I'm getting used to it. I like Chinese women anyway.