19 July 2008

Helmetless


In the days when America was more Free than it is today I liked taking my motorcycle down there. I liked riding my bike helmetless in America, something all ten of the provinces of Canada had long agreed was contrary to the common good.

I rode with the boys sometimes and by myself once in while but mostly I rode in America with Sonja on the back. She was a smart, balanced passenger. You missed out if you are a guy and you have never rode a motorcycle with your gal hanging on for dear life behind you.

There were some taverns I liked in America. Mostly I stayed away from the taverns that went out of their way to attract motorcyclists. Too loud. I preferred redneck taverns, the ones just a little more demented than the coffee shop in "Easy Rider." I still prefer such establishments. I blame my affinity for such places on having spent too many of my formative years in Motherfucking, Alberta. People in redneck American taverns say things to you like, "You're a Canadian? You Canadians must be alright or we'd've bombed you silly by now. Ain't that right Ed?"

Riding a motorcycle without a helmet is a little risky, riding a motorcycle helmetless after a few beer is an even better risk. You gotta get it in before you get old.

Never had much trouble with the police in America. Just lucky I guess.

8 comments:

ib said...

Redneck taverns, or just local bars - as we call them here - are always worthy of investigation.

I have walked into such pubs openly tripping out my face, and fared rather better than I might in a city bar.

I wish I owned a motorcycle. I only ever got as far as the jacket and boots. No shit. Sounds lame, but there you go.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I gather drunk bikers account for two out three motorcycling fatalities. Usually the biker never even hits the brakes. He (or she) tend to smash into objects at twice the posted speed limit.

My favourite British motorcycling song is on the Subs' Brand New Age record; "500 ccs and my cycle slut!." Slade did a nice cover of "Born to be Wild" on their fab live record.

Were the Bay City Rollers Scotland's best selling band of all time?

ib said...

I'm fairly certain the Rollers ARE/WERE Scotland's biggest selling export outside whisky, but all five now reside in borderline poverty thanks to the astounding lack of business acumen on the part of their bungling manager, Tam Paton. It's not even that he willfully exploited them for his own ends ; the idiot himself is relatively poorly off as the result of his ineptitude in negotiating contracts and commercial tie-ins.

By the way, did you know David Paton and Billy Lyall of Pilot fame (remember "Magic" and "January" ?) were original Rollers before they quit and started anew in 1973 ?

ib said...

From Wiki:

"There are claims that the group sold 100-300 million records and generated the equivalent of five billion pounds in revenue, with the band members themselves earning very little.According to BBC they sold 70 million records."

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

The surviving Rollers ought to form a country western band. Plaid cowboy hats? Oh yes. I can see women swooning at their cowboy booted feet. All their songs I can think of would swing just fine with a little alteration of the beat and the addition of pedal steel, a washboard, maybe a squeezebox and by substituting the bass guitar with a washtub bass.

ib said...

Considering it was fairly widely known the boys were incapable of tuning - let alone playing - their instruments, the move up to C&W might prove a little taxing.

Plaid cowboy hats ? ah yes, the canadian/american term for TARTAN.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

A lack of talent rarely stands between a man and success.

ib said...

true...