31 October 2007

Can Opener


I was raking up some leaves and tidying up the yard. Hallowe'en means more people walking up to the Hockey House than any other day of the year. Do not want the neighbours tripping over my empties in the drive.

Working outdoors makes me thirstier than usual so after every wheel barrow full of leaves I picked up I went inside to get a beer. Without beer nothing would get done around this place.

The yard was getting clean and I was getting pasted. I was getting that feeling a man is supposed to get when he has accomplished something and got himself pissed at the same time. It is a feeling the Canucks have only ever experienced the latter half of. I opened the fridge and pulled out another fucking beer. I pulled back on the tab and nothing happened - the beer did not open. "Don't panic," I told myself, "there must still be a can opener in the kitchen somewhere."

I am old enough to remember when you used to have a can opener to open every beer you drank out of a can. I prefer, and still prefer, bottles. Fuck the cans. But welfare beer, or strike beer as it is sometimes known, only comes in a can. Everybody used to keep a can/bottle opener handy. I recall opening beer with rocks and nails when an opener was not available.

The can opener was buried at the bottom of a drawer. It still worked good.

5 comments:

Jon said...

Dear Beer, I've got you on a blog aggregator and read you off a wireless connection at the public library. Still like coming here though. Your stuff reads better at your website. Why? I don't know.

Nicole said...

HAPPY Halloween!
Trick or Treat, you old buggar!


( you don't happen to hand out Beer, now do Ya? :)

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I read the Dope City Free Press at B.C. Bloggers to do my final edit. The eye misses less when the written word is black on white. If you have not noticed, this here blog is best read in the dark while listening to WDVX-FM after drinking 3 litres of beer or smoking a bomber the girth of your index finger.

The little motherfuckers should bring me beer on Hallowe'en. If I could find any I would hand out Black Cat bubblegum and candy cigarettes. I grew up on that shit.

Jon said...

You're all right.

Nicole said...

BLACK CAT bubble gum!!!???
Never heard of it before but I LOVE the sound of it!

Hope you got a treat or two last night...and a TRICK!


If I lived out your way, I'd have swung by with some Beer for ya! :)