19 July 2007

On the Road Again


I was driving along minding my own business. As I pulled up to a red light a car to my right, in a lane from which one was only supposed to turn right, weasled into the lane beside me. I looked over and sure enough the driver was blabbing away on her cell phone.


"Jesus Fuck," I thought, " The most dangerous thing people do every day, except maybe fuck each other, is driving, walking or cycling on the road. Why the fuck can't people pay attention to what the fuck they are doing instead of ringing up every moron they know to talk about Posh Spice?"


I looked over at the woman and made a signal to her suggesting she hang up the fucking phone. She went berserk in her little plastic bubble of a car. Her flabby arms were shaking all over the car like pantyhose filled with a hundred pounds of rancid sausage meat. No fucking way was she going to hang up her phone.


I reached into my cooler, took out a beer, opened it and drank it as I waited for the light to change. Some people sure do not know how to drive.

2 comments:

jen said...

you, brother, are freaking hilarious.

Andraste said...

90% of the drivers I see when I'm out on the roads are on their cell phones. It makes me seethe. What can they possibly be talking about that can't wait until they're not driving?

Why can't people just SHUT THE FUCK UP...EVER?