7 April 2007

Midnight Special

I woke up in the middle of the night to take an urgent beer piss. I did not have time to turn on a light or anything. I relaxed the muscles that keep me from peeing in bed and began.

Right away my stream began splashing down a wall. "Fuck!" I thought. I aimed away from the wall and managed to find the floor. Piss splashed up the walls and warmly all over my legs. "Jesus fuck! Who moved the fucking can?" I wondered.

I hit the toilet for a few seconds before I found the floor, then the other wall, then the toilet again. I shook off in no particular direction. I turned on the light, mopped up the floor with my wool socks and headed back to bed.

Before I hopped into bed Sonja asked me, "What the fuck were you doing in there? It sounded like a Niagra Falls. You better get out of those socks before you get into bed!"

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