28 February 2007

New One

There was a new gal at the gym yesterday. She reminded me of an old girlfriend of mine, except her tits were smaller and her ass was bigger. And, in the fullness of time, her tits were not going to get much bigger and that ass was going to get bigger and bigger. Just the same, they were biggest tits I had seen all day. None of the gals in the office have big ones. But they all have great big cellu-bums. The guys at the mill figure that is what turns the boss' crank, besides pissing the guys off.
The new gal got on a machine I had been on previously and exclaimed to her buddy, "Holy fuck! Who's the asshole who piled on all the weights?" Women are so motherfucking dainty these days. Even farmer sausage fed Steepleton women cuss like a drunk longshoreman on payday after the bars have closed and after the coke has run out.

I told her I was on the machine before her. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out if I was old enough to be her dad. I was. But it was good to see she was trying to figure it out.

"I've never been into a fucking gym before," she informed me as she removed her sweatpants and folded them into a neat little pile, as if I could not tell by looking at her. White legs now poked out of the satin shorts she wore beneath her sweatpants.

"Don't overdo it your first few workouts," I advised her as she strained at the machine with all her strength. "Light weight, lots of repetition. That's the secret. If you keep coming here you'll see lots of people doing just the opposite. Here's a bit of wisdom I learned a long time ago that has served me well in the gym and lots of other places: watch what most other people do and do the fucking opposite."

"That's pretty heavy there guy. Say, how old are you anyway?" she asked with eyes dirty as a river in the spring.

"Old enough to be your daddy," I told her. Fuck, I was old enough to be her grand-daddy.

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