We had a Hockey Family New Year's party in the mountains far from home. A three night party is the only way to celebrate a new year. Conversation turned a time or two to remembrances of winters long ago. Kitty told me, "When I knew the family were going to go out and do something fun I would do any-fucking-thing to hide an illness that might prevent me from being brought along. And I was fucking sick all the fucking time. We all were either sneezing germs or spouting puke at one another. I remember coughing into my pillow all morning so no one would hear and make me stay behind.
"One time I had the flu real bad when the family was going skating. I had been heaving like fuck for a few days by that point but I insisted to both mom and dad I was fine to go skating - 100-fucking-%. We made it about half way to the rink when I puked so much the puke overflowed out of both my fur lined skates I was holding.
"Dad was not very happy when he pulled over the car and looked in the back seat. Instead of going skating that day we went home and he used the electrolux to vacuum the puke out before mom did her best to clean them out with everything she kept under the kitchen sink. My feet smelled like upheave every time we went skating until I outgrew those skates."
The lake was frozen near the cabin we had rented. Sal's new guy Marcus was out on the ice clearing snow for a small rink as soon as he unpacked and rolled up a bomber. When some of the other people around the lake saw everybody skating by our cabin they came down and enlarged it to official NHL size. Next thing you knew there were drunk motherfuckers and their kids playing hockey, twirling around and smashing their skulls into the ice. It made me damn proud to be a Canadian to see everybody pitch in and have some real outdoor fun on the ice.
When the Canucks were on the tv in the evening Marcus and Hunky Z watched the game in their sweaty Canuck jerseys. It was enough to make me vomit. I am thinking the new NHL is getting a little dull because they were both sound asleep before the end of the third period in a game that featured two decent fights.
The Hammer had a great time padding around the lake and ploughing her big body through the mountain powder. She took to disliking Sal's chihuahua Shaky after the first day. We figure she finally decided the small dog was a tasty rodent. The Hammer had Shaky halfway down its throat, my sister was screaming like Little Richard, when Hunky Z and I each grabbed a back leg and hauled the canine burrito back to safety.
On New Year's Eve Hunky Z and I knocked back a bottle of absinthe after first working on some scotch to get warmed up. Absinthe makes me feel like the guys jumping up and down on the ice after they have won the Stanley Cup. Sonja prevented me from joining another party on the frozen lake after Hunky Z turned the colour of the liquor he was drinking and had to be guided to bed. I took her advice and hit the sack too.
As I was drifting off to sleep I still had the horrific image of a noosed up Saddam Hussein in my head. I am happy Canada has not used the hemp on anybody's neck for decades. We are better than that.
Happy New Year motherfuckers.