14 December 2006

New Van

Sonja's dad is coming out to see us tomorrow. He has a new van. The last one got cracked up. I still cannot believe he found someone with less driving ability than he has remaining to smash into him. "Bad drivers don't grow on trees you know Beer," he told me once, "We have to import them from countries with no laws at all if you expect someone to drive fast enough to deliver a pizza that is still hot."

There is one feeling that beats getting a new car. That is getting a new motorcycle. Unless you have so much money it makes you nervous when you are alone on the street you only get so many cars or motorcycles in a lifetime - no matter how short a time you expect them to last. I think I have heard a new car usually gets driven by its owner for around seven years. That means you will have lived long and well if you own a dozen of them before you cross the wire.

I have known Sonja's dad long enough to remember him driving a Volkswagen Bug he barely fit into; a van with the words "Let's Boogie" and some kind of a mural painted on the side and a quadraphonic 8-track in the dash; a couple pick-ups he used to run people he thought might be tree hugging hippy motherfuckers off the road with; a Toyota bought well before Toyotas made reliable cars; and his A&W van he had most recently.

I just hope he does not want to take us on a drive in his new van. Sonja's dad is old enough now to only be trusted with train sets. But just when you think his reactions are getting a little slow someone cuts him off with you in the car and damn - he can still give another bad driver the finger and tell him to, "Watch it you fucking idiot," faster than anyone.

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