11 October 2006


Strangler, my first dog, used to wake me up to be let out into the yard in the darkest hours of the Canadian night by circling around the bedroom like Prime Minister Harper might if he were to wake up with drool on his thin lips after dreaming about having sex with Preston Manning. I did not mind Strangler's odd sleeping habits because it gave me a chance to look out on my fast decaying neighbourhood in the red and blue lit night.

Ranger, my second dog, used to pick up his dinner bowl and drop it on the kitchen floor to let me know he wanted out. I do not know how many times I was dreaming about making sweet love to a barefoot Anne Murray in the Nova Scotian night only to have my love lie limp as Ranger's dog bowl rolled around the kitchen linoleum.

The Hammer has no patience with me at all. She jumps up on the side of the bed and licks my face off to get me moving. If that does not work she jams her big, cold nose under my neck and flicks my head like a soccer ball.

Fucking dogs. I love them.


OkieDokie said...

You said it BEER!Even Dogs are more attractive than Anne.As if we didn't already know that.Seriously?... You dream of her.That's just sick.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

What Dope City needs is a 24 hour Anne Murray radio station. ANNE-FM! That's right ...Anne Fucking Murray!

madame x said...

24 hr FM is bad, standing alone
but 24 hr AM....... FM?

oh geez.....

death by snowbirds

madame x said...

...and I mean that, in the kindest way:)

Nicole said...

So, I have to ask the question, is Hammer the only female dog out of Strangler and Ranger?

Just wondering with the zero patience she has and all, I have a theory!!!

I'm glad to hear you love dogs, I do too!!!

and thanks for dropping in, I've missed ya :)

and it's all good that you are crushin on Anne, she's a good Canadian woman, but I have to ask, you aren't that crazy farmer-stalker of hers are ya??? LOL

You wouldn't like my tastes in musuc, but I think you'll forgive me it anyway!!1

Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving weekend

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I drink too much beer to stalk anything that moves faster than a six pack.

Nicole said...

LOL Beer!

You still didn't answer my question about if Hammer is the only female dog you've had!!!

Ps...as for the stalker thingy, I thought you'd get a smile outta that, as I believe her farmer-stalker is from Sask. get it now??!! :)