17 August 2006

Neighbourhood Watch

I was talking with Rollie again in the parking lot at lunch today. He said, "Last night I was chatting over the fence with my neighbour Sihota. Sihota brought out his bottle of Gibson's to share and we were having a few Blues I took out of my son's beer fridge. We were talking about the white boy who got shot a few times by the Hindoos up the road a bit. I said to Sihota,'You know nobody gives a shit if you Hindoos shoot the motherfuck out of one another but if you black bastards start killing whitey sooner or later somebody is going to kill the wrong whitey and there is going to be a war.'

Sihota said, "It is most unfortunate. I saw the mother of the shot boy on the tv. She called the boy's attackers Hindoos. Why must you white people use that word?"

Rollie laughed and continued, "As we were bullshitting this strung out motherfucker came walking down the street looking like he wanted to break into a car or steal one. There has been a stolen pick up parked a couple doors down from us for a week and a half. The windows are rolled down and it has been unlocked the whole time. Sihota seized the opportunity.

"Hey crackhead!" shouted my rye addict neighbour. "Why don't you steal the pick-up down the road. It has been sitting there for days. I think it has a full tank of gas."

Rollie went on, "The crackhead came over and made certain we were not bullshitting him. Once he was satisfied the truck wasn't a bait car he hauled a set of keys any night watchman would be proud of out of his baggy piss stained pants, jumped in the truck, started it with the third key he tried and was gone."

As we watched the truck disappear around the corner Sihota said to me, "Some neighbourhood motherfucking watch we are!"

Needless to say Rollie and Sihota live in Sliverville.

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