7 July 2006
My neighbour Ed and I were talking about the FIFA World Cup. Ed said, "I can barely watch that shit. There's like four shots a game, everybody is falling down like they have been Bertuzzi'd if someone so much as brushes their sweater. And the worst part is my wife is English. The fuckers won the World Cup like 100 years ago and they still get excited as a Canadian Prime Minister in the Oval Office every time one of their soap opera star players touches the fucking ball."
I said, "They invented the game to give themselves a good excuse to visit foreign countries and act Canadian every so often. Deep down they all know they will never win the World Cup again."
My neighbour petted the Hammer as it walked alongside his dog. He continued, "I don't know about that Beer. Canada did not win an Olympic gold medal in men's hockey for over 50 years but finally won again. And we invented that sport. All I know is if England ever does win again my wife will scare the shit out of me with her screaming because I will be asleep on the couch."